neveralarch

A couple weeks ago I got hit by a wild porn concept involving a magic sex ritual initiation for hockey players. And I wrote 15k of it in 5 days. So, you know. This is happening to us all now. Check the tags and notes for content warnings!

Rookie of the Year
Chapter 1 of 3
Original work
Rating: adult
Characters: first pick NHL rookie/his entire team, background rookie/his college girlfriend
Wordcount: 5,500ish this chapter

"It's an orgy," said Lindsey, on the phone.

"It's not an orgy," said Trey, frustrated. "It's team bonding. The vets welcoming the rookies to the team. It's this big honor."

"A big honor that you had to get an STI test for," said Lindsey, flatly.

"There's not gonna be any girls there," said Trey, soothingly. "It's just the team. It's really secret, actually, I'm not supposed to be telling you about it at all. You just go to the party, you get welcomed in, and then, uh, that's it. That's mostly it."

Lindsey didn't say anything. Trey had to pull his phone away for a second to make sure she hadn't hung up.

"I think," he said, when the silence had stretched on to the point of misery. "I mean, I don't know, but I think there's some magic involved. Like, there's rumors."

"Rumors," said Lindsey.

Trey hesitated, but he'd been the one to call. He'd opened this can of worms, and now he was gonna lie in it. "Guys' dicks get shorter."


Read it on the AO3!

So last year my year-end summary was late because I could NOT look at or engage with my 2023 fic. This year it's late because I've been writing so so much lmao. Very different experience.

I posted 160,287 words of fanfic last year, including the longest thing I've ever posted. That's the second highest total ever, eclipsed only by 2020 when I was trapped at home all day every day. AND I didn't post anything until May this year. The total breaks down into 15 stories: 1 story/1,262 words of Doctor Who for Yuletide, 1 very old Great Mouse Detective story (9,682 words), 2 stories/11,211 words of Transformers, 1 Discworld flashfic (1,316 words), 1 Dungeon Meshi fic (2,133), and 9 stories/134,683 words of Naruto. 95,507 words were written with Dez :)

Yearly questions and answers under the cut. Note that a lot of the fics linked are NSFW/adult.

( The Cut )

Curl You Right Round My Finger
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: adult
Characters: Kakashi/Gai
Wordcount: 3,600ish
Summary:
Kakashi!! Kakashi didn't have a dom! It was absurd. Gai knew why he struggled to maintain even casual scene partners. He was too loud, too brash, too much the stereotype of the overbearing dom. As he'd grown taller and broader as a young man, his dynamic had become obvious in more ways than one. He had big hands, a chiseled jaw, and the ready instincts of a herding dog. He was a dom. A large, cheerful, annoying dom.

(Gai might not be a dom, and Kakashi definitely isn't the typical sub. But you know what, whatever they have is working for them.)

Read it on the AO3!

The Art of Getting What You Want
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: adult
Characters: Kakashi/Gai
Wordcount: 2,100ish
Summary:
Kakashi runs an errand. Which would be fine, except he and Gai were kind of in the middle of something.

(Inspired by my bad sex bingo 'leaving mid sex' altho tbh they have a pretty good time here.)

Read it on the AO3!

Me n Dez doing weird toxic love triangles again. Mind the tags on this one, dark themes.

Listen to the Wind Blow
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: adult
Characters: Kakashi/Gai, Kakashi/Obito
Chapter wordcount: 10,300ish
Summary:
Kakashi disappeared from Konoha on a warm October night, a few days after the Village was devastated by the Kyūbi attack. More than a decade later, Gai is still trying to pick up the pieces.

There's something keeping Gai tangled up with Kakashi. But Kakashi's entanglements go far beyond Gai, and the man at the bottom of the chain might just drag them all down, if they can't get free.


Read it on the AO3

Almost forgot to post this fic before the year was up!

Dental Maintenance
Fandom: Transformers (IDW)
Rating: gen
Characters: Deadlock, Ratchet, Starscream
Chapter wordcount: 900ish
Summary:
A little fic about Deadlock's teeth. Originally written as a minizine to give away at TF Con 2024!

Read it on the AO3

Hello author! Happy Yuletide season :) Treats are also welcome, if anyone's wondering!

( details under the cut )

So I wrote this fic almost exactly a decade ago and never did any editing past the first draft despite receiving some really helpful beta notes because it seemed hard and I lost interest. The writing isn't polished, the set up is a thin excuse for kink, but my buddy Dez has convinced me to let it be free into the world because it's Fun haha. Enjoy!

The Adventure of the Forged Statues
Fandom: The Great Mouse Detective
Rating: adult
Characters: Basil/Ratigan
Wordcount: 9,700ish
Summary:
When Ratigan falls ill upon arrest, Basil takes it upon himself to nurse his nemesis back to health so that he can stand trial and be properly convicted of his many numerous crimes. Basil has no ulterior motives. Absolutely, positively none at all.

Read it on the AO3!

This is sooo belated. Usually I get the year-end summary out in January, maybe February - in 2016 I got it out in April and looking back this was a big sign of my bad mental health at the time. So, uhh. Hello. It is August. I'm feeling okay, actually! I was just totally unable to engage with most of my 2023 output until now.

I fell out of Transformers fandom really abruptly right at the end of last year and had this weird period of not wanting to engage with it at all - and because I've pretty much only been interested in Transformers and nothing else for a good five years I was like ??? what's going on? Am I having another depressive episode? But I have so much energy for playing music and learning Cantonese and doing fun things... Just not my main source of dopamine...

And then a couple months ago I got into Naruto and the writing energy was like HELLO I'M HERE. And I'm starting to enjoy engaging with Transformers again too :) So that's a story for next January, and in the meantime I'm feeling better able to contemplate this summary thing.

I posted 93,830 words of fanfic last year! Truly a lot of things until I hit that wall in December. This breaks down into 13 stories: 1 story/1,637 words of Yuletide, and 15 stories/92,193 words of Transformers. I also wrote, I have to say, a LOT of porn.

Yearly questions and answers under the cut. Note that as above, a lot of the fics linked are NSFW/adult.

( The Cut )

Hey!! It's TF reverse bang time!! With art by Hanaby3!

Carry What You Can Hold
Fandom: Transformers IDW
Rating: adult
(Explicit sex [plug n play])
Characters: Rung/Deadlock
Wordcount: 10,200ish
Summary:
A lot of mechs are looking for Rung, the runaway psychiatrist who maybe has something to do with the tech behind cold construction. Deadlock's been hired to track him down. But now that he's got him, he has to decide what to do with him...


Read it on the AO3!