AGH

[neveralarch]

I AM SO MAD ABOUT HANNIBAL.

I am not with the show, I really cannot do the show, but the FANDOM. Never has a fandom pushed, nay, stamped on my buttons like this. And at the same time, there's this thing I cannot deal with at all called 'cannibalism,' and guess what that show's about!

I have read two Hannibal fics because they each had the perfect perfect fic summary for my id. And then I spent a while with my skin crawling and feeling vaguely nauseous. But the fics are REALLY good and REALLY stamping on my buttons, so there has been some rereading. And some more nausea. Someone save me from myself/this fandom. And the AO3 Collars tag, because it is definitely the middleman here.

Anyway. Needed to vent. I'm still finals-ing and behind on dealing with comments/emails, but if you have a fandom that mashes your buttons and your squicks at the same time, please share! I would like to know if this happens to people not me.

Comments

Re: hope you like tldr >//>

[neveralarch]

OMG, we are brain twins. I tend to seek out BDSM fic even in fandoms I don't know too (see, why I made this post), but I tend to get really frustrated because I don't like reading fics with dubcon or noncon and a lot of kinky fics edge too far into dubcon for me. And they can be well written and really interesting, but it's just not for me.

It's esp annoying when you're reading along and it's fine and then you're in the middle of a long fic and all of a sudden the author does something and none of it works for you anymore. I feel like I need someone to vet fic for me ahead of time, except I would be way too embarrassed to ask for that, haha. Also I read too much fic to wait for recs, tbh.

ANYWAY, I totally feel you on basically all of these feels. I remember coming into DW fandom when basically all I could find in Doctor/Master was Ten/Simm!Master, which was fine for A WHILE, but then I ran out of anything to read which wasn't dubcon or noncon. And there was a lot of it. I'm really glad that Classic Doctor/Master tends to have less of that.

(also I feel you on sub!Master, that is basically 80% of my desires for any given kinky Doctor/Master fic)

[stalkerbunny]

With that first fic I mentioned, I actually thought it was going to be a (relatively) lighthearted one because... that's how it seemed at the start? So the ending was extra shocking. But at least it was a fairly short one... ahaha let's not even talk about long and involving fics.

The sort where at some point you realize it'll probably get darker than you can handle but you can't stop reading? Once missed class because I was both upset and reading onward obsessively.

(Granted, depends a bit on which versions of the character it is, but Delgado!Master and Three especially feel like they're easier too see that way?)

[neveralarch]

Yes yes yes on the ones where you just get sort of sucked in even though you know that reading further is probably just going to mess you up for a while. It's a kind of good writing that I'm impressed by, but- idk, there are several bookmarks in my pinboard that say things like AMAZING FIC, NEVER TRY TO READ THIS AGAIN.

[stalkerbunny]

...Ever read that one really long Doctor/Master fic that starts out with them being married and almost but not quite unrealistically happy together and then it's just a long, gradual spiral to madness? For both the Master and the reader 8'3 (which had a soort of happy ending but Things about it bugged me so it also wasn't).

Also there was one shalka!verse not-quite-shippy fic where I checked it for an unhappy ending (so I could get away before I got too invested) and then in the end what I thought was a happy ending was actually a flashback to happier times and the real ending was super heartbreaking... why???!

Ah well. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger or just mildly deranged. *twitch*

[neveralarch]

The first one sounds really familiar, and I must have read the second, but I can't place either of them. Maaaybe you could PM me the titles, so I can satisfy my curiosity without accidentally offending anyone?

I actually can't describe the fics that sucked me in despite myself - I tend to lose details really quickly, which is why I keep descriptive notes on my bookmarks, except the two fics that I recall being particularly scarring only have the notes 'Aaaagh holy fuck,' and 'Augh, murder,' and 'I cannot read this story again, it will kill me.' So, you know, I guess they're descriptive of something. Not really the plot.