meme thing 2.0

[neveralarch]

I should be asleep, etc etc, but I've been working on Yuletide fic and homework and the weekend is coming up and I need something to keep me moving and not get stuck. So! Meme.

This is from LJ and then tumblr and I have no idea where it originated, sorry.

Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I’ll tell you something about the story I’d write for that combination (i.e. write a snippet from the story or write not!fic or tell you the title and summary for the story I would write)

1. genderswap
2. bodyswap
3. drunk!fic
4. huddling for warmth
5. pretending to be married
6. secretly a virgin
7. amnesia
8. cross-dressing
9. forced to share a bed
10. truth or dare
11. historical AU
12. accidental-baby-acquisition
13. apocalypse fic
14. telepathy
15. High School / College AU

Anything I write will be solidly not!fic, probably, but feel free to give me whatever fandom. You can see the ones I've written on AO3, and I am also happy to write Skyfall Bond and any other fandoms you think I might know.

Comments

[neveralarch]

(Note: I am incapable of even writing short not!fic, this is ridiculous.)

Okay, so, I am going with this Hornblower/Bush highschool AU even though I know dangerously little about what actual high school is like.

So Will Bush is in some kind of British high school THING (I know even less about the UK school system than I know about the US school system), and he rolls with Buckland and the other lieutenants from Lieutenant Hornblower, with Captain James Sawyer as the ringleader. Bush doesn't always agree with some of the meaner stuff that Sawyer does, but he likes the other guys in the group, and he's a tall, solid and quiet boy (let me pretend that McGann magically grew while playing Bush, because he's supposed to be kind of imposing in the books and I always liked that). So Bush has a reputation for being the muscle of the group even though he'll only get involved in a fight if the other kid started it or if he needs to drag Sawyer off of someone.

AND THEN MYSTERY TRANSFER STUDENT HORNBLOWER ARRIVES. He is good at math, all the teachers love him, he is strong and silent and dashingly handsome, Bush is kind of suspicious of his perfection for a while but then he caves because, let's be honest, Hornblower looks pretty damn perfect if you are not inside of his own head.

There's the whole plot from Lieutenant Hornblower highschoolized, where Sawyer is bullying Wellard and it goes to far, and Hornblower is trying to work out how to confront Sawyer and doesn't tell Bush because he's not sure if he can trust him. I don't REALLY remember what happened at the end of Lieutenant Hornblower, but Wellard is rescued and Sawyer changes schools and Bush and Hornblower become best friends.

And then summer break happens and they don't see each other for MONTHS until Hornblower is headed to... an arcade... in town and Bush runs into him and invites him over to his house, which is how Hornblower meets Bush's sisters and plays videogames and has dinner with his family and he keeps thinking that Bush will realize that he is TERRIBLE AT EVERYTHING and HORRIBLY AWKWARD, but Bush keeps laughing at his jokes and smiling at him generally, and maybe, MAYBE this is that human emotion called friendship which Hornblower has never understood. So he goes and hangs out with Bush nearly every other day until school starts back up again, and then they're kind of separated because Hornblower is in highest honors calculus and Bush is in reasonable junior-level algebra, or what have you, but they still hang out during lunch and after school, and Hornblower thinks it's pretty great to have someone you can rely on like this.

Bush, meanwhile, is basically DYING of crush. He writes WILLIAM BUSH HORNBLOWER in his notebook over and over, and then erases it and then tears all the pages out because Hornblower would totally notice the indentations, he notices everything EXCEPT BUSH'S LOVE.

(Bush's sisters notice. Bush's sisters tease him FOREVER.)

And Bush and Hornblower settle into that dynamic in the books which I kind of love to hate, the one where Bush stares at Hornblower with his eyes full of admiration while Hornblower thinks "I AM A FRAUD, I DO NOT DESERVE THE PLATONIC LOVE OF THIS MAN." And where Hornblower says mean things to Bush just because he's in a bad mood and needs to hurt someone, and Bush looks like someone kicked him in the stomach and Hornblower is like "AGH, I AM THE WORST" until he can say something nice to Bush without it being weird and Bush puffs up like the happiest balloon. And the one where Hornblower showers naked (and with no shower curtain) in the lockerroom while Bush stares at the ceiling and is like "why this, why life," and Hornblower is like "AH YES, THE CIRCULATING AIR FEELS SO WONDERFUL ON MY NETHERS."

(I hear all of Hornblower's thoughts in capslock, all the time, it really improved my reading of the books, I think.)

And finally it is the autumn of senior year, when people in the US would be applying to colleges if they want to go, and I assume something similar is happening in the UK - A-levels? I guess? And Bush is thinking about how Hornblower is going to go and become a high-powered math student, or a policeman, or just generally become amazing and even more perfect and FAR AWAY, while Bush joins the military or something. He has no idea what the fuck he's doing, he just wants to make out with his best friend, okay, is that so much to ask?

And Hornblower can kind of tell what's up, because Bush is even quieter than normal and he looks sad all the time, but Hornblower has NO idea what to do, so he's like "hey, maybe we could go for a hike in the woods? Stop stressing about school?" And in his head he's like "AGH, STUPID IDEA, I AM SO INEPT," but Bush is already saying "that sounds like the best idea I've ever heard," except he sounds MOURNFUL about it, and Hornblower has no idea what to think.

So they go for their hike, and Bush keeps thinking about how they're going to lose touch, and Hornblower keeps thinking "SHOULD I ASK WHAT'S WRONG? NO, I CAN'T, HE IS A MANLY MAN AND WON'T WANT TO TELL ME HIS FEELINGS," and Bush is like "if I don't say something now I'll never know what would have happened," and Hornblower is like "TO HELL WITH IT, I'LL JUST SAY SOMETHING, THE MAN'S MY BEST FRIEND," and this is when Bush misses his step and falls down a bit of a cliff.

"Jesus fuck!" shouts Bush, and "Oh my God," says Hornblower, and Hornblower runs down after him, he nearly falls but makes it down safely, and Bush is lying there with his leg badly twisted under him and Hornblower is thinking "FUCK, WHAT IF HE HAD DIED, WHAT IF, AAAAAGH," and he ends up holding Bush's face in his hands and saying a lot of things out loud that he normally wouldn't really even think, like "Please be okay, please," and "I don't know what I would do without you, Bush, I NEED you," and Bush's leg really really hurts but he is like, well, now or never, and he pushes himself up a bit and actually kisses Hornblower right on the nose, he was aiming for the mouth but this is harder than it looks, and he gets it right on the second go anyway.

And Hornblower was kind of holding Bush up, and now he drops him, and Bush swears.

"Oh," says Hornblower. "Oh."

Bush would be hurt, and he is, kind of, but he's been friends with Hornblower for a while now and he knows that sometimes he needs a while to process.

"Oh," says Hornblower. "That's what all the ripped up pages with WILLIAM BUSH HORNBLOWER written on them meant."

"I like you," says Bush, just to make sure they're clear. "I like you a lot."

"I like you more than anyone," says Hornblower, and he touches his mouth with two fingers like he's still not super sure what's happening.

"Do you want to go out?" asks Bush. "Like, be boyfriends or something?"

"Yes," says Hornblower, because he has figured it out, this is not the human emotion called friendship, this is the human emotion called BOYFRIENDS, my god, how could he have missed it before?

"Also," says Bush, "Could you call 999? Because I think my leg is broken."

"OH MY GOD," says Hornblower, and that is how they end up holding hands in an ambulance as the EMTs swear at them and Hornblower and Bush grin at each other, Bush grinning because he is totally doped up on painkillers and EVERYTHING IS PERFECT, and Hornblower grinning because he's pretty sure if he stops he will start berating himself out loud about ignoring Bush for so long and for it taking a broken leg for him to see the light, and in the end Bush has a cast and crutches for a lot of senior year and Hornblower feels terribly guilty for a long time but it all works out and Bush moves to Cambridge or whatever with Hornblower and gets a job at an auto mechanics, I guess, and Hornblower comes and hangs out at his apartment and they play videogames and have awkward conversations and totally have sex.

[aralias]

yay! this is great. i actually read it this morning and then didn't comment, but mostly what i meant to say (i could have said then was) I LOVE HIGH SCHOOL AU!

how awesome is it that hornblower chases off the school bully? brilliant. although i guess he doesn't have to deal with a potential epic court marshall. man, i love lieutenant hornblower. it is so awesome and also gay.

also, i thought bush was going to die when he fell off the cliff... even though it was rationally too early for that. so, i was relieved when he didn't! and then everything was good :D :D

[aralias]

also - what i only thought later was-

perhaps all hornblower's normal and clever thoughts are in regular upper and lower case, but whenever he is trying to cope with HUMAN EMOTIONS it is in upper case.

[aralias]

also also also - i'm sort of glad you didn't write the pretneding to be married. becuase that is what i have been writing ALL DAY.

except mostly it is sex, and not much of the plot.

[neveralarch]

Haha, getting this series of comments was great :D

At first I was kind of like 'high school AU, what do I do with a high school AU,' and then I realized that I am about ten times more invested in Hornblower's life if he's an awkward teenager, so. And I also remembered that Lieutenant Hornblower is totally my favorite Hornblower book.

I think you're right about Hornblower's ALLCAPS and normal type thoughts - my thoughts about HUMAN EMOTIONS are generally in all-caps too...

And I'm excited to read your fic! I just saw the post, so maybe in a bit I will stop trying to write papers and enjoy fanfiction instead.

[aralias]

maybe the thing is that hornbloewr is always an awkward teenager... he just gets better at directing naval battles.

i love him very much, because of his horrible fail. that's not to say i'd want to be married to or even in love with him, but he is such a falliable character and yet so good. i think that is excellent. (this is just some thoughts about hornblower, now. not related to the high school thing).

i love hornblower playing video games with bush's sisters WHO ALL KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM, though. i love that the most.

this bush icon has seen a lot of use today...

[neveralarch]

Aha - I think it's kind of awesome that I've managed to talk about Hornblower all day when I wasn't writing term papers.

I really like Hornblower as a character - I'm consistently impressed by Forrester's writing and the humanity that he gives to Hornblower despite Hornblower being, on the face of it, your typical good-at-everything action hero. I just also want to shake Hornblower until he stops being a dick. (But this is an urge that I get toward a lot of real human beings, so this is just another testament to Forrester's writing ability.)