Life: being a being
6/12/11 10:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neveralarchThis week is pretty bleah, and I think it's going to be like that for the foreseeable future. I'm sort of incapable of seeing beyond all these applications and exams, anyway. Also, Yuletide. I'm getting that done, absolutely.
I can tell I'm getting more socially anxious, lately. Which is bad, because I'm sending 5-10 emails a day, plus the grad school applications, and I have to spend forever planning and agonizing over all of them. Nothing actually bad is happening, and my life is even going better than it usually is, so the anxiousness isn't warranted! But my brain ignores me. I think I'm just stressed and not sleeping enough, because I know my mood really depends on hours of sleep. And, guess what, I'm full of other little tells like snapping at people and revealing that I'm not the chill kid I pretend to be. At least I'm doing better at keeping my anger down at fencing. Only two more days of getting up at 6:45, and I can start sleeping in.
I'm also getting a lot of hand injuries at fencing, which is fun because I can show them off, but bad because eventually someone is going to stab me seriously. I've had one new hand injury every week since the beginning of November, and what the hell? I am not doing anything new with my hand. I think they're aiming for it, though. It's killed two gloves, so far. One of them has puncture holes where they went in, scraped my hand, and came out again. Sabre gloves do not give enough protection! Right now I have two minor scrapes, a blood-blister on my off-hand, and the thumbnail of my right hand got smashed and is still recovering.
Anyway. Socially anxious, hand injuries. It's a great combination. I'm going to catch up with all my work, start reading all these fandom bookmarks in my to_read folder, and sleep. I mean, the other two things are going to wait a couple weeks, but they'll happen eventually.
I don't usually post about this kind of stuff, sorry. I think I just needed to type, it's very calming.
I can tell I'm getting more socially anxious, lately. Which is bad, because I'm sending 5-10 emails a day, plus the grad school applications, and I have to spend forever planning and agonizing over all of them. Nothing actually bad is happening, and my life is even going better than it usually is, so the anxiousness isn't warranted! But my brain ignores me. I think I'm just stressed and not sleeping enough, because I know my mood really depends on hours of sleep. And, guess what, I'm full of other little tells like snapping at people and revealing that I'm not the chill kid I pretend to be. At least I'm doing better at keeping my anger down at fencing. Only two more days of getting up at 6:45, and I can start sleeping in.
I'm also getting a lot of hand injuries at fencing, which is fun because I can show them off, but bad because eventually someone is going to stab me seriously. I've had one new hand injury every week since the beginning of November, and what the hell? I am not doing anything new with my hand. I think they're aiming for it, though. It's killed two gloves, so far. One of them has puncture holes where they went in, scraped my hand, and came out again. Sabre gloves do not give enough protection! Right now I have two minor scrapes, a blood-blister on my off-hand, and the thumbnail of my right hand got smashed and is still recovering.
Anyway. Socially anxious, hand injuries. It's a great combination. I'm going to catch up with all my work, start reading all these fandom bookmarks in my to_read folder, and sleep. I mean, the other two things are going to wait a couple weeks, but they'll happen eventually.
I don't usually post about this kind of stuff, sorry. I think I just needed to type, it's very calming.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 10:17 pm (UTC)There is something oddly comforting about hearing your fingers fly over the keyboard.
Hope the hands heal fully and never progress beyond slices, which are bad enough. Thumb joint injuries can be the kiss of death.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 10:44 pm (UTC)Thanks! I still haven't got a new hand injury this week, and it's the last week of fencing practice for the semester. Maybe I'll get lucky.