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neveralarchI'm flying out of Germany in about a week. I'm stressed out with finals at the moment, but I'll be more or less done on Friday. I get to spend a few days in Italy with some friends, and the I really have to leave, all the way back to America.
In no way do I want to this. I really desperately want to stay in Germany - it's not the difficulty of having to move, because I'm used to picking up stakes every couple of months or so. I think it's just the finality of it. I don't know when I'll be in Germany or even Europe again, but it probably won't be soon. It definitely won't be for as long.
I have made a list of things I will miss about Germany and things I will not miss, hoping that I would be reminded that I actually do love living in America and speaking English and things. It's not really helping, but what the heck. I figured I'd post it here so that in a year I can come back and be all nostalgic and whatever. Or just embarrassed! The second is more likely, anyway.
Things I will miss about Germany
Sinalco Cola.
Fifty million flavors of Fanta.
Easy-to-get chocolate musli.
The fencing team (oh man, so much. sooooooo much. fuck.)
My Space History class (absolutely as rad as it sounds).
Getting to speak German all the time.
All the old buildings and awesome museums.
Easy-to-get Spaetzle and Maultasche and everything.
All my friends, including the other Americans that I'll probably never run into in the US
Angelika the awesome TA, who has put up with about 80 million questions that began with 'I think this is like this, but I didn't actually understand this word..." and Christine the amazing tutor, who has copied about fifty books of architecture for me.
The awesome (very distant) relatives I met here.
No, seriously, the fencing team. Next week is last practice, agh.
Being able to hang out in the park and drink beer without getting arrested, or walk around on the street with friends and a half-full bottle of vodka.
All the amazing parks and woods in general (even if I have them at home too).
My program director and how ridiculously fabulous she is. She knows everything, and somehow wants to use her omniscience to make me succeed.
The whole eighties motif. Fannypacks and leather jackets adorn the streets, and it is beautiful.
Knocking applause.
My room with the skylight.
Things I won't miss
Everything being made with mineral water (a cause of several minor breakdowns during lent).
Casual racism and how hard it is to communicate what's wrong with it. Mostly due to my language skills, honestly - it's not Germany is worse than the US (I'm not going to try and judge), but that I have less ability to object when things are happening around me.
How expensive rail is, and how much you need it to get anywhere.
The constant struggle to make myself understood and how exhausted it makes me all the time.
Most things being closed on Sunday and holidays (I never got used to it).
Feeling completely cut off from people in the US because of the time difference.
Feeling completely cut off from US politics while not really being able to understand German politics (though I tried really hard).
This fucking architecture class with its (even to Germans) incomprehensible professor.
My frequently-broken and way-too-expensive pay-as-you-go phone.
Having no people around me to babble with about fannish things.
Not having a printer/scanner.
The innate incomprehensibility of my background to Germans (renaissance festivals - really difficult to explain to someone who's never heard of them. Responses to me being homeschooled range from 'oh cool, I've never met someone like you,' to 'wow, were your parents criminals?')
Banging my head on the alcove of my skylight.
But I guess generally, I just love Germany and I love being able to use this language that I've been learning for years for no good reason. Okay. Now I have to go get ready to watch sci-fi movies at someone's house in preparation for the Space History final. Got to make the most of this while I'm here.
In no way do I want to this. I really desperately want to stay in Germany - it's not the difficulty of having to move, because I'm used to picking up stakes every couple of months or so. I think it's just the finality of it. I don't know when I'll be in Germany or even Europe again, but it probably won't be soon. It definitely won't be for as long.
I have made a list of things I will miss about Germany and things I will not miss, hoping that I would be reminded that I actually do love living in America and speaking English and things. It's not really helping, but what the heck. I figured I'd post it here so that in a year I can come back and be all nostalgic and whatever. Or just embarrassed! The second is more likely, anyway.
Things I will miss about Germany
Sinalco Cola.
Fifty million flavors of Fanta.
Easy-to-get chocolate musli.
The fencing team (oh man, so much. sooooooo much. fuck.)
My Space History class (absolutely as rad as it sounds).
Getting to speak German all the time.
All the old buildings and awesome museums.
Easy-to-get Spaetzle and Maultasche and everything.
All my friends, including the other Americans that I'll probably never run into in the US
Angelika the awesome TA, who has put up with about 80 million questions that began with 'I think this is like this, but I didn't actually understand this word..." and Christine the amazing tutor, who has copied about fifty books of architecture for me.
The awesome (very distant) relatives I met here.
No, seriously, the fencing team. Next week is last practice, agh.
Being able to hang out in the park and drink beer without getting arrested, or walk around on the street with friends and a half-full bottle of vodka.
All the amazing parks and woods in general (even if I have them at home too).
My program director and how ridiculously fabulous she is. She knows everything, and somehow wants to use her omniscience to make me succeed.
The whole eighties motif. Fannypacks and leather jackets adorn the streets, and it is beautiful.
Knocking applause.
My room with the skylight.
Things I won't miss
Everything being made with mineral water (a cause of several minor breakdowns during lent).
Casual racism and how hard it is to communicate what's wrong with it. Mostly due to my language skills, honestly - it's not Germany is worse than the US (I'm not going to try and judge), but that I have less ability to object when things are happening around me.
How expensive rail is, and how much you need it to get anywhere.
The constant struggle to make myself understood and how exhausted it makes me all the time.
Most things being closed on Sunday and holidays (I never got used to it).
Feeling completely cut off from people in the US because of the time difference.
Feeling completely cut off from US politics while not really being able to understand German politics (though I tried really hard).
This fucking architecture class with its (even to Germans) incomprehensible professor.
My frequently-broken and way-too-expensive pay-as-you-go phone.
Having no people around me to babble with about fannish things.
Not having a printer/scanner.
The innate incomprehensibility of my background to Germans (renaissance festivals - really difficult to explain to someone who's never heard of them. Responses to me being homeschooled range from 'oh cool, I've never met someone like you,' to 'wow, were your parents criminals?')
Banging my head on the alcove of my skylight.
But I guess generally, I just love Germany and I love being able to use this language that I've been learning for years for no good reason. Okay. Now I have to go get ready to watch sci-fi movies at someone's house in preparation for the Space History final. Got to make the most of this while I'm here.
