neveralarch (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
neveralarch) wrote2010-08-04 04:10 pm
neveralarch) wrote2010-08-04 04:10 pm
Entry tags:
Series: So Far Exceeds Expression, chapter four
So Far Exceeds Expression, 4/5
(alternate title: Covered in Blood)
Doctor Who, Classic Series AU
Rating: PG-13 as a whole
(this chapter: more violence, swearing, and kissing.
As a whole: violence, PG rated slash, femslash, and het. Small children.)
Pairings and characters (this chapter): Two/AU!Master, slight Two/War Chief, Zoe/Jenny (OFC/historical personage), Jamie, Narvin, Arturo Villar, various historical personages.
Wordcount (this chapter): about 5,000
Summary: The Doctor and co are on the run. From everybody.
A/N: The penultimate part of my odd, historical fiction reimagining of the War Games. Credit for the plot to steal the Crown Jewels goes to Colonel Thomas Blood, as does credit for some of his dialogue in this chapter. Thanks again to my beta,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
birdsarecalling, who liked Narvin and reminded me about character development. Written for the best_enemies bigbang challenge.
Previous Chapters: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three
Nobody in the court moved for a full minute. Then the King stood up from his throne and took a hesitant step toward the strange green box that had crashed into the middle of his audience with Colonel Blood. A panel slid out of the box, and smoke billowed out, followed by a group of coughing men and women.
Guards rushed to surround the box and protect their king, but the Doctor ignored them, skirting around to grab Jamie and the Colonel by the hand.
"Oh, am I happy to see you. Listen, we must get to my TARDIS immediately-"
"What's going on?" asked Jamie. "Where'd yon box come from?"
"Is that-" The Colonel tugged his hand loose from the Doctor's grip. "Is that Magnus? What the hell is he doing here? With you?"
"Hello, Koschei," said the War Lord. "Isn't this... delightful. The Doctor said you were around."
"I'll explain on the way," said the Doctor, trying to recapture the Colonel's hand. "This really isn't the time."
"Who are these people?" demanded the King. "Is this an attempt at a rescue? Under my very nose?"
"Ah," said the Doctor, turning around. "So you managed to get caught, did you? I did try to warn you, Koschei, but you never would listen to me."
"Please don't remind me," said the Colonel. "And I asked you to stop calling me that."
"Is someone ashamed of his nickname?" asked the War Chief, mildly. "I remember when you were practically jumping for joy about it. So excited that Theta had convinced our group to grant you an earth-based moniker."
"Father, who is this?" asked Thomas. He looked around at the cluster of renegade Time Lords and raised his eyebrows. "Another old flame?"
"No!" said the Colonel and the War Chief at the exact same time.
"Did you even hear me?" shouted the King. "What in blazes are you idiots doing?"
"I dunno, but it's pretty funny." Perrott didn't bother to hide his snaggle-toothed grin. "Why don't you relax?"
The King turned to scream at his guards. Before he could say anything, a shot was fired into the ceiling and more plaster fell onto the floor.
"Listen up," said Villar, bringing his rifle down to level it at His Majesty. "You all just going to listen to what this little lady has to say, understand? Or I shoot this shouting man."
Silence fell, leaving a space for Zoe to step into.
"All right, please, everyone do just as I say, or my friends here will be forced to do something we will all deeply regret." She nodded at Jenny, who raised her gun and aimed it at the pack of guards.
"Now then," continued Zoe. "All of us are going to leave. No one will stop us. To ensure that, the King will accompany us until we arrive at our transport. We shall release him before we leave. A few guards are welcome to follow, but we will shoot His Majesty if anyone makes any suspicious movements. Doctor?" She looked to him for confirmation.
"Yes, that sounds excellent, Zoe. Carry on." The Doctor grinned, nervously.
"Very well. Your Majesty, if you please."
The King strode up to Zoe, his expression mutinous and his face bright red. Jenny grabbed him by the arm and dug her revolver into his side.
"Everyone together now," called the Doctor, and led the way out of the court. The Colonel and the War Chief followed, along with Thomas and Perrott. Jenny and the King walked in the middle, with Jamie, Zoe, and Villar bringing up the rear. The crowds parted for them, looking scared and uncertain, and a few guardsmen detached themselves to clear a path. They didn't want anyone to startle the hostage group and lose the King by accident.
"Jenny, will you be alright?" asked Zoe. "I don't-"
"I'll be fine," said Jenny. "I can handle myself, but don't distract me. My God," she said, wonder suffusing her face as she looked at the angry man in her care. "We've kidnapped the King!"
"This is amazing, Zoe," said Jamie. "That was some fast thinking."
"I'm just glad it's over," she answered. "Don't look to me for any more miracles, because I'm afraid I'm fresh out. All I can think of is that I never did find out if I know how to juggle."
"Do not worry," growled Villar. "If this goes wrong, we will all be dead before we have time for big ideas."
"I'm sure it'll all work out," said Jamie. "We've only to walk back to the TARDIS, and then we'll be away, with no one the wiser. There's room for us all."
"Huh." Villar looked skeptical. "Another box-ship? Where will we go?"
"Anywhere not here," said Zoe, firmly. "I have to tell you, Jamie, that we're on the run. The Doctor's in some sort of trouble with the authorities from his world, and they're chasing us down."
"Yes, yes," said Villar. His carbine jerked in time with his words, underlining his impatience. "Always I am on the run. But perhaps we can go to Mexico? My men will help protect you and your Doctor, no problem. But I must return to lead them."
"Sorry," said Jamie. "The Doctor will probably try, if you put it to him like that, but he's not a great one for getting people where they want to go."
Villar grimaced, and Zoe spoke hurriedly, sensing his mood.
"We do realize you want to go home, Villar. We'll do our best to get you there. But it may have to wait until the current crisis is completely over. Until then," Zoe glanced at the guards around them as the doors out of the palace were opened by a hysterical pageboy, "please watch our backs. You were right; if we can't get back to the TARDIS, we're all in trouble."
---
The sun was going down outside of the palace, and the evening crowds scattered in front of the group. Many of the people reformed behind them and followed the party, their curiosity undiminished by Villar's threatening moves with his carbine. The Doctor ignored the commotion, concentrating on finding his way back to the TARDIS.
"We definitely came out along the docks," he muttered. "It has to be one of these alleyways on the left..."
"So, how long have you and Magnus been seeing each other?" asked the Colonel, nastily. "I understand now why you never bothered to come looking for me."
"Don't be paranoid, Koschei," said the Doctor soothingly, even as he rolled his eyes. "I came upon the War Chief purely by chance."
"Is that what he's calling himself now? Isn't that one of the Village People?"
"You're not going to win the Doctor over with random Earth-culture references," scoffed the War Chief. "I came by my title honestly, at least. What are you using, again?"
"Colonel."
"Of course. And I suppose you expect me to believe that you actually made it to the rank of Colonel in someone's army? Or perhaps you've begun a chicken-based eatery in this era, and stolen your marketing strategy. Anachronism and copyright infringement are rather beneath you, don't you think?"
"Perhaps we've gone too far," said the Doctor. "No, wait, I recognize that sign. Or, at least I think I do."
"I earned the rank of Colonel, if not necessarily in the traditional manner. Anyway," the Colonel flicked his eyes across the War Chief's sharp cheekbones, "at least my sideburns don't come in as spikes."
"I shave them that way," sniffed the War Chief. "It's fashion - you wouldn't understand. Just look at your clothes."
"I had to borrow these," said the Colonel. "My own suits are perfectly adequate."
"I'm sure you think so," said the War Chief. "In a way, you're lucky. It's much easier for Time Lords such as yourself whose bodies look so very old. No one expects you to keep yourselves up, unlike us poor younger-bodied ones."
"This body has character," said the Colonel. "I can't say the same for yours; you could have copied it from one of my old academy portraits. No wonder you felt the need for ridiculous facial hair in order to distinguish yourself."
"Is this the right alley?" wondered the Doctor. "Oh, everything looks so different in the dark."
"Doctor," Jamie called. "The TARDIS is right this way." He pointed at an alley they had just gone past.
"Thank you, Jamie." The Doctor frowned and started patting his pockets for the key.
"Can we hurry it up a little?" asked Jenny. "The King's starting to get restive." His Majesty was indeed fidgeting in her grasp, trying to subtly dislodge the barrel of her revolver from his ribs.
"You want I should shoot him in the leg?" asked Villar. "It will not kill him, and it will make it much harder to run."
The guards shifted uneasily at this suggestion, but the Doctor shook his head.
"No," he said, producing the key, "I think we're practically out of here. We'll just calmly walk down that alley, and then-"
"Renegades," boomed a voice out of nowhere. The crowd stirred as people looked wildly around, trying to find the source of the voice.
"Renegades, give yourselves up. You must face the consequences of your actions."
"They've found us," hissed the War Chief.
"This is what you didn't have time to explain?" demanded the Colonel. "You're being hunted by the High Council, and you didn't bother to tell me?"
"It's a recent development," said the Doctor.
"It's all his fault," said the War Chief, glaring at the Doctor.
"It most certainly is not." The Doctor wrung his hands. "But they can't do anything unless we're in the TARDIS. I mean, they wouldn't send someone to pick us up, would they? That would be interfering in history."
"Father, what's going on?" asked Thomas. He, Perrott, and Jamie were wide-eyed and staring, not having experienced this before.
"It's my people, Thomas, the ones who exiled me. The War Chief here has apparently called them down on us all." The Colonel turned back to the Doctor. "We can't just stand here forever."
"Something will happen," said the Doctor. "Something has to, and then we can take advantage of it."
"Renegades, surrender now," said the voice, and everyone jumped. The King took advantage of it to twist out of Jenny's grip, shoving her revolver away.
"Guards! Guards, arrest these people."
Jenny fired a wild shot, missing everyone. There was an odd screeching noise, and her stray bullet embedded itself in the front of a carriage that had just appeared in the middle of the road.
"Right," said a man, popping out of it. "That's enough of that. You're all coming with me."
"Narvin?" said the Colonel. "They sent Narvin?"
"Yes," confirmed Narvin. "Why don't you all stop running around like savages and just come home with me? It makes me sad to see good Prydonians acting like this. Especially you, Theta Sigma. What would your House say?"
"I don't see what business it is of theirs. Or of yours, whoever you are," said the Doctor, shortly. "Colonel, you know this person?"
"He's a CIA operative," said the Colonel. "I worked with him before I resigned. I assume he's come to collect you."
"More or less," agreed Narvin. "If you'd all just step into my," he looked around at the outside of his vehicle, "carriage, we can be on our way."
"Absolutely not," shouted the King. "Now that I have escaped, these villains are subject to my justice!"
Narvin raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid the Laws of Time take precedence over your primitive conceptions of 'justice'."
"That's it," said the King, "I will not be spoken to in this manner. Guards, arrest this man."
"Just one moment," said Narvin. He ducked back into the interior of the carriage, even as the guards approached, pikes at the ready.
One of them seized the handle of the passenger's door, pulling it half open. Just then, a pulse of blue light spread through the immediate area. The guards froze, along with the King and the crowd of spectators. Perrott stopped moving as well, though Thomas and Jenny only looked confused for a moment before shaking it off.
"Time field," said Narvin, popping out again. He pushed away the immobile guard who was still clutching the handle of his carriage door. "Halts the time line of anyone who's aligned to this era."
"Can you do that, Doctor?" asked Jamie. He was passing a hand in front of Perrott's face, eliciting no reaction.
"No," said the Doctor. "I wasn't even aware the technology existed."
"Oh, I've been given quite a few toys to play with," said Narvin. He smiled, dryly. "The Doctor and the War Chief are considered very high priority. The War Lord and his men have already been eliminated, so you're the last loose ends."
"What happened to them?" said the War Chief.
"Dematerialised," said Narvin. "They tried to fight us off. Foolish, but at least they can't make any more mistakes now."
"What about the soldiers, eh?" said Villar. "You demarrialy them as well?"
"Of course not," said Narvin. "The displaced primitives have been returned to their respective eras, just as you will be. This is acceptable?"
"Huh," said Villar. "I guess. The Doctor cannot get me back to Mexico, the little lady says." He nodded at Zoe. "Better to ride with you than never return at all." He lowered his carbine, and Narvin smiled.
"Excellent. All that remains is to gather the other displaced Humans. I assume that all of those not frozen are also not from this era."
"No," said the Colonel, quickly. "Jenny and Thomas were both born in this time, but are not affected."
Jenny waved, hesitantly. Thomas just folded his arms and watched his father.
"You must have polluted their timelines with artron energy," said Narvin, with disgust. "Very well. I'll just take the fugitives - not you, Koschei, I know you're serving your exile here - and the primitives who obviously don't fit.” Narvin eyed everyone’s appearance, judging them against the crowd. He passed quickly over Zoe and Jenny’s dresses and Thomas’ suit. He paused for a moment at Jamie’s kilt, but eventually that passed muster as well. “You seem to be the only one." Narvin nodded at Villar. “Right, let’s go.”
"Doctor, don't go with him," said Zoe.
"Aye, we can fight him off," said Jamie. "He's just one man."
"One man with all the power the CIA could give him," said the Doctor. "Narvin, what will you do if I try to run?"
"Shoot you," said Narvin, cheerfully. "You'll probably be executed anyway, so I don't mind saving the High Council a trial."
"Oh, Doctor!" said Zoe.
"I have to go," said the Doctor. "It will be worse for us all if I don't."
"You can't be serious," said the War Chief. "We have to get away."
The Doctor looked at him with sad eyes.
"I don't think we can run any longer. Getting to the TARDIS would just play into their hands, now, and there's nowhere to hide. What options do we have left?"
"We must try," snarled the War Chief. He turned and ran, weaving through the still crowd that surrounded them.
Narvin disappeared back into his carriage, reemerging with a ray gun. Ignoring the protests of Zoe and Jamie, he aimed carefully and picked the War Chief off, dropping him as he neared the edge of the time field.
"I did warn him," said Narvin. "Nobody ever listens to me."
"How could you?" demanded Zoe. "Murderer!" Her fists balled up and she started to rush at Narvin, but Jenny held her back, staring at the ray gun and biting her lip.
"I'm sure he's just stunned," said the Doctor.
"No," said Narvin. "If he's willing to waste a regeneration on a foolhardy escape attempt, I'm willing to indulge him."
"That was completely unnecessary!" The Doctor's voice rose immediately from its previous calm tones.
"Don't get yourself into a huff," said Narvin, rolling his eyes. "The War Chief will be fine, once we get him into my TARDIS' zero room. Primitive, retrieve the body."
"My name is Arturo Villar," said Villar. He didn't move.
"Fine, Artooroveeya. Could you please retrieve the body for me? The sooner we're out of here, the sooner you'll be back in your proper time."
"Back with my men, yes?"
"Yes, of course." Narvin watched with satisfaction as Villar grunted and went to collect the War Chief. "Make your goodbyes, Doctor."
"They're going to kill you too!" said Zoe, her eyes glistening.
"You can't let him hurt you," said Jamie, his eyes also suspiciously bright.
"Now, don't worry." The Doctor patted Zoe on the shoulder and then, after a moment, kissed her on the forehead awkwardly. He ignored the Colonel's sudden glower.
"I'm sure the High Council won't do anything drastic." The Doctor smiled, and shook Jamie by the hand. "I'll come back as soon as I am able. The Colonel will take care of you both."
"I will, will I?" said the Colonel. He frowned again as shaking hands with Jamie turned into hugging Jamie.
"Don't be like that," said the Doctor, looking over Jamie's shoulder. "They're good and capable. They'll be able to fend for themselves in no time."
"I can already fend for myself," said Jamie. Zoe gave him a patronizing look.
"Can we hurry up the emotional goodbyes?" asked Narvin. "Wait, I had forgotten for a moment that this is Koschei and his boyfriend that he used to bore us all about. Of course we can't."
"Shut up, Narvin," said the Colonel, through gritted teeth. The Doctor just smiled as he disentangled himself from Jamie.
"I will be back, you know," he said, putting his hands on the Colonel's arms.
"When you're able," said the Colonel, looking the Doctor straight in the eye. "I heard you."
"You're still upset with me," said the Doctor. "You don't get to be upset with me - I'm upset with you!"
"What? Why?"
"Any number of reasons. You took one of my companions on a doomed attempt to steal from the King of England. You're terribly jealous with absolutely no grounds. The War Chief I understand, though it's absurd, but Jamie and Zoe? Honestly?"
"Your friend implied-" The Colonel almost fell into explaining himself, but rallied. "Never mind. You left me on Earth for decades, Doctor, don't forget."
"You've done admirably well for yourself," said the Doctor. "Evaded the law, made a life, settled down with a wife and children which you hide from me..."
"I feel like we've had this conversation before," said the Colonel. "Can we move on to the part where you run off to find the War Chief? Of whom I'm not allowed to be jealous?"
"I didn't say you weren't allowed to be jealous, I said it was absurd to be jealous."
"Omega, Rassilon, and the Other, just kiss each other already." Narvin ran his hands over his face. "I want to leave, not listen to your stupid spats."
"Narvin, I will find you when you're without your toys, and murder you." The Colonel said it quite calmly. "It may take a while, but I can be determined, as you well know."
"I think we'd better do as Narvin says." The Doctor squeezed the Colonel's arms. "Do you think you can set aside our difficulties, just for a moment?"
"I suppose we can straighten everything out when you return." The Colonel smiled.
"Good," said the Doctor, and stood on his toes to kiss him.
Everyone waited, patiently.
The Colonel put his arms around the Doctor's back and leaned into him, bringing their bodies closer together.
"Why?" asked Narvin with despair. "Why did they send me? Why not someone who didn't know Koschei well enough to be embarrassed for us both?"
"I joke about these things," said Thomas, "but I really did not need to see this."
"Thomas," said Jamie, suddenly. "I think your dad's in love with the Doctor."
"Are you always this oblivious?" asked Thomas. "Or do you just have a blind spot when it comes to the Doctor?"
Jamie colored. "What are you trying to say?"
"Oh, be quiet," said Zoe. She looked up at Jenny and squeezed her hand. "I think it's sweet. Don't you, Jenny?"
The Doctor had his hands clasped around the back of the Colonel's neck and was slowly being dipped lower and lower to the ground as the Colonel pressed forward.
"I think that the Doctor's back bends much more than mine does," said Jenny, staring. "And neither of them must need to breathe."
Zoe glared at her.
"Aye, sweet," said Jenny. "Very sweet."
"Just so you know," said Narvin, loudly, "I was planning on going soon, rather than in a hundred years' time."
"I think he's figured out our cunning plan," said the Doctor, pulling away from the Colonel and trying to straighten up. The Colonel just grinned at him, keeping his feet more or less off the ground.
"Better let me down before Narvin gets trigger-happy again," warned the Doctor. A shadow passed over his eyes briefly, despite the humor in his tone.
"Fine," said the Colonel. He released the Doctor, and then steadied him to keep him from overbalancing. "You will come back, though. In less than a couple decades time." His tone hovered between a statement and a plea.
The Doctor just smiled in return, and walked over to Narvin's carriage.
"At long last," said Narvin, not at all under his breath. "Come on, we'll pick up your TARDIS on the way." He grabbed the Doctor's hand and hoisted him into the passenger's compartment, where Villar and the War Chief's body already were.
Narvin ducked back in one last time, stopping only to wave at the Colonel, who just glared. In a moment there was a grinding and groaning noise, and the carriage disappeared.
"Right," said the Colonel. "That's that, then." He quickly hid the lost look that had fallen on his face
"This stopped-time device is wearing off," observed Thomas. Some of the guards were beginning to shudder back to life, followed by the nearest of the crowd.
"Maybe we should leave," said Jenny.
"What happened?" said the King, coming out of the effects of the time field. "Where am I?"
"Your Majesty," said the Colonel, grabbing the King's chin and forcing him to look into his eyes. "I am the Colonel, and you will obey me."
---
"Let's see," said Narvin, at his console controls. "I'll drop you off first, Doctor, then the primitive - excuse me, Artooroveeya - and finally the War Chief. Acceptable?"
"Of course," said the Doctor, and leapt at the controls.
"They're on isomorphic," said Narvin. His eyes smiled as the Doctor backed off, sucking on his burnt fingers.
"You can't blame me for trying," said the Doctor.
"I can, though," said Narvin. He sighed, shaking his head. "I really can."
"You must make sure to bring me right back to my men," said Villar. "They cannot wait much longer."
"I assure you, Artooroveeya, I can return you to your bandits at exactly the right time, no matter how long we take. Time travel, you understand?"
"Good," said Villar, stepping back. "Then the Doctor can go first."
"Thank you," said Narvin, with an attempt at infinite patience that sounded more like infinite condescension. "Prepare yourself for your trial, Doctor. It will begin immediately."
"If I must." The Doctor closed his eyes and sat in silence until the TARDIS materialized on Gallifrey. Without a word, Narvin busied himself about the controls, setting it into flight again, but leaving the Doctor and his own TARDIS behind.
"Do not let these law men bother you," said Villar, as he faded away. He pulled on his moustache, solemnly. "Remember, they will never know the joy of being free men, such as we."
"Good luck, Villar," said the Doctor, opening his eyes. "Good luck in your war."
"Stop talking to each other," complained Narvin. "This is very delicate, and your interaction is preventing the particles from disentangl- ah, there we go."
The Doctor and his TARDIS were left alone, at last. He patted her door and looked around the courtroom they had been deposited in. Finally, his eyes lit on the triumvirate of judges that had come to conduct his trial. The Doctor sighed and got up from the floor, putting his thumbs into his lapels.
"I suppose you want me to explain myself?"
"You will have a chance to present for the defense," said one of the judges, a tall, fair-haired man.
"Good," said the Doctor. "I have quite a lot of things to say about all this."
---
"You will let us all go free," said the Colonel. "A full pardon."
"Yes," said His Majesty. His eyes were glazed, and he was sweating as he attempted to break the Colonel's hypnotic control. "Yes. You shall all go free."
"Good. And nobody coming by in the night to get rid of us as embarrassments to the Crown."
"No," said the King. "No need for that."
"Hurry up, Father," said Thomas. "The guards will be at our throats in a minute."
Perrott came back to himself, looking wildly around. Jamie grabbed his arm to stop him from running off and disturbing the Colonel's hold on the King. The rest of the crowd was already moving sluggishly.
"And you will give me rulership of England!" said the Colonel, triumphantly.
"What? No! It's mine!" The King glared as the Colonel's control slipped.
"Alright, perhaps just an income and an estate, then," the Colonel said in soothing tones, backtracking a little. "I can settle for that, I suppose."
"Yes," said the King, falling back into the forced calm. "Lands in Ireland. A suitable reward for- for-"
"For not stealing the Crown Jewels," supplied the Colonel.
"For not stealing the Crown Jewels," echoed the King.
"Colonel, they're coming," said Jamie. The Colonel dropped his hands from the King's temples, and the guards grabbed him from behind.
"Stop!" shouted the King. "Unhand this man!"
The guards stared at him blankly. The Colonel just grinned.
"I have granted Colonel Blood and his compatriots a full pardon, and they shall go free! Indeed, I have decided to bestow an estate and an income upon the esteemed Colonel."
The King's voice sounded natural, but the men boggled at his words.
"What?" ventured the captain of the guard. "But, Your Majesty, this is the man who kidnapped the Duke of Ormonde, not to mention your own self."
"Ye-es," said the King, doubtfully. "There is that."
"I'll write the Duke a letter of apology," said the Colonel, exercising the last threads of his power over the King. "My compunction so far exceeds expression, and so on."
"You see," said the King. "He'll write Ormonde an apology. No problem."
"This is ridiculous," said Zoe.
"Be quiet," said Jenny. "They might notice."
---
The judges took their time deciding on the verdict. They stood in a loose triangle, communicating telepathically in a way that excluded the Doctor. Allowed to remain in the room, the Doctor slumped against a wall, humming tunelessly.
"We are ready to pass sentence," said the leader of the judges. The Doctor stood up straight, and pretended that he didn't care what they decided.
"We were impressed by your arguments about your good intentions in interfering with history. We admit that your hearts are in the right places. Yet this does not mitigate the nature of your crime. We condemn you to forced regeneration and exile. The secret of your TARDIS will be lost to you. We shall return it as we see fit."
"This is sounding terribly familiar," said the Doctor. "Standard punishment these days, is it? Very well. Where do you plan to exile me?"
"Your travels show a great fondness for Earth. We do not wish to cause you undue stress, so we will send you there."
"Your concern is touching," said the Doctor, not completely sarcastically. "If I may, I would prefer to be sent to the seventeenth century. Perhaps, oh, 1671? England?"
"We will confer." The judges turned to each other once more, resuming their silent discourse. The Doctor just stared at the ceiling and twiddled his thumbs.
"Yes," said the lead judge, at last. "We agree to your suggestion. You understand that you must remain on Earth until we reconsider your exile, however."
"Oh, of course," said the Doctor, crossing his fingers behind his back.
"Good. Now, we will allow you to choose your new appearance."
"It will have to be very handsome, just as I am now," warned the Doctor. He prepared to be disappointed.
---
The TARDIS materialized, and the Doctor staggered to the door as it opened. He was still weak from the pain of the forced regeneration, and he clung to the doorframe in an attempt to stay upright. Finally, he stuck his nose out into the air of the English countryside.
"No," he muttered, "no, this isn't right at all." He peered about, blinking owlishly. "Not the seventeenth century. Twentieth, if I'm not completely mistaken."
A car drove by the big field the TARDIS had landed in.
"Incompetent imbeciles," shouted the Doctor. "You've no more accuracy than- well, me!" He shook his fist at the sky, which meant he had to let go of the TARDIS' doorframe. Dizziness threatened to overwhelm him, and he swayed, dangerously, before collapsing into the grass, face-first.
"Sir? Sir, are you alright?"
The Doctor didn't move, and the UNIT soldier crouched down and shook him, gently.
"Sir? This area is off-limits, I'll- Sir? Damn it." He pulled a radio from his belt. "UNIT HQ, this is Captain Munro. Found unknown man, have to go to hospital. Over."
"Munro, this is the brigadier. What's this about a man? Over."
"Just some bloke, Sir. Collapsed outside a police box, middle of nowhere." Munro paused, waiting for a response. "Oops, sorry. Over."
"Get him to hospital, Munro. I'll be there as quick as I can. Over."
"Yes, Sir. Over and out." Munro put his radio away and stared at the Doctor. "What's so special about you, then? Ah, well, up you get." He slung the Doctor's arm over his shoulder, and began the long stumble to his car. "I expect I'll find out soon enough."
(alternate title: Covered in Blood)
Doctor Who, Classic Series AU
Rating: PG-13 as a whole
(this chapter: more violence, swearing, and kissing.
As a whole: violence, PG rated slash, femslash, and het. Small children.)
Pairings and characters (this chapter): Two/AU!Master, slight Two/War Chief, Zoe/Jenny (OFC/historical personage), Jamie, Narvin, Arturo Villar, various historical personages.
Wordcount (this chapter): about 5,000
Summary: The Doctor and co are on the run. From everybody.
A/N: The penultimate part of my odd, historical fiction reimagining of the War Games. Credit for the plot to steal the Crown Jewels goes to Colonel Thomas Blood, as does credit for some of his dialogue in this chapter. Thanks again to my beta,
birdsarecalling, who liked Narvin and reminded me about character development. Written for the best_enemies bigbang challenge.Previous Chapters: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three
Nobody in the court moved for a full minute. Then the King stood up from his throne and took a hesitant step toward the strange green box that had crashed into the middle of his audience with Colonel Blood. A panel slid out of the box, and smoke billowed out, followed by a group of coughing men and women.
Guards rushed to surround the box and protect their king, but the Doctor ignored them, skirting around to grab Jamie and the Colonel by the hand.
"Oh, am I happy to see you. Listen, we must get to my TARDIS immediately-"
"What's going on?" asked Jamie. "Where'd yon box come from?"
"Is that-" The Colonel tugged his hand loose from the Doctor's grip. "Is that Magnus? What the hell is he doing here? With you?"
"Hello, Koschei," said the War Lord. "Isn't this... delightful. The Doctor said you were around."
"I'll explain on the way," said the Doctor, trying to recapture the Colonel's hand. "This really isn't the time."
"Who are these people?" demanded the King. "Is this an attempt at a rescue? Under my very nose?"
"Ah," said the Doctor, turning around. "So you managed to get caught, did you? I did try to warn you, Koschei, but you never would listen to me."
"Please don't remind me," said the Colonel. "And I asked you to stop calling me that."
"Is someone ashamed of his nickname?" asked the War Chief, mildly. "I remember when you were practically jumping for joy about it. So excited that Theta had convinced our group to grant you an earth-based moniker."
"Father, who is this?" asked Thomas. He looked around at the cluster of renegade Time Lords and raised his eyebrows. "Another old flame?"
"No!" said the Colonel and the War Chief at the exact same time.
"Did you even hear me?" shouted the King. "What in blazes are you idiots doing?"
"I dunno, but it's pretty funny." Perrott didn't bother to hide his snaggle-toothed grin. "Why don't you relax?"
The King turned to scream at his guards. Before he could say anything, a shot was fired into the ceiling and more plaster fell onto the floor.
"Listen up," said Villar, bringing his rifle down to level it at His Majesty. "You all just going to listen to what this little lady has to say, understand? Or I shoot this shouting man."
Silence fell, leaving a space for Zoe to step into.
"All right, please, everyone do just as I say, or my friends here will be forced to do something we will all deeply regret." She nodded at Jenny, who raised her gun and aimed it at the pack of guards.
"Now then," continued Zoe. "All of us are going to leave. No one will stop us. To ensure that, the King will accompany us until we arrive at our transport. We shall release him before we leave. A few guards are welcome to follow, but we will shoot His Majesty if anyone makes any suspicious movements. Doctor?" She looked to him for confirmation.
"Yes, that sounds excellent, Zoe. Carry on." The Doctor grinned, nervously.
"Very well. Your Majesty, if you please."
The King strode up to Zoe, his expression mutinous and his face bright red. Jenny grabbed him by the arm and dug her revolver into his side.
"Everyone together now," called the Doctor, and led the way out of the court. The Colonel and the War Chief followed, along with Thomas and Perrott. Jenny and the King walked in the middle, with Jamie, Zoe, and Villar bringing up the rear. The crowds parted for them, looking scared and uncertain, and a few guardsmen detached themselves to clear a path. They didn't want anyone to startle the hostage group and lose the King by accident.
"Jenny, will you be alright?" asked Zoe. "I don't-"
"I'll be fine," said Jenny. "I can handle myself, but don't distract me. My God," she said, wonder suffusing her face as she looked at the angry man in her care. "We've kidnapped the King!"
"This is amazing, Zoe," said Jamie. "That was some fast thinking."
"I'm just glad it's over," she answered. "Don't look to me for any more miracles, because I'm afraid I'm fresh out. All I can think of is that I never did find out if I know how to juggle."
"Do not worry," growled Villar. "If this goes wrong, we will all be dead before we have time for big ideas."
"I'm sure it'll all work out," said Jamie. "We've only to walk back to the TARDIS, and then we'll be away, with no one the wiser. There's room for us all."
"Huh." Villar looked skeptical. "Another box-ship? Where will we go?"
"Anywhere not here," said Zoe, firmly. "I have to tell you, Jamie, that we're on the run. The Doctor's in some sort of trouble with the authorities from his world, and they're chasing us down."
"Yes, yes," said Villar. His carbine jerked in time with his words, underlining his impatience. "Always I am on the run. But perhaps we can go to Mexico? My men will help protect you and your Doctor, no problem. But I must return to lead them."
"Sorry," said Jamie. "The Doctor will probably try, if you put it to him like that, but he's not a great one for getting people where they want to go."
Villar grimaced, and Zoe spoke hurriedly, sensing his mood.
"We do realize you want to go home, Villar. We'll do our best to get you there. But it may have to wait until the current crisis is completely over. Until then," Zoe glanced at the guards around them as the doors out of the palace were opened by a hysterical pageboy, "please watch our backs. You were right; if we can't get back to the TARDIS, we're all in trouble."
---
The sun was going down outside of the palace, and the evening crowds scattered in front of the group. Many of the people reformed behind them and followed the party, their curiosity undiminished by Villar's threatening moves with his carbine. The Doctor ignored the commotion, concentrating on finding his way back to the TARDIS.
"We definitely came out along the docks," he muttered. "It has to be one of these alleyways on the left..."
"So, how long have you and Magnus been seeing each other?" asked the Colonel, nastily. "I understand now why you never bothered to come looking for me."
"Don't be paranoid, Koschei," said the Doctor soothingly, even as he rolled his eyes. "I came upon the War Chief purely by chance."
"Is that what he's calling himself now? Isn't that one of the Village People?"
"You're not going to win the Doctor over with random Earth-culture references," scoffed the War Chief. "I came by my title honestly, at least. What are you using, again?"
"Colonel."
"Of course. And I suppose you expect me to believe that you actually made it to the rank of Colonel in someone's army? Or perhaps you've begun a chicken-based eatery in this era, and stolen your marketing strategy. Anachronism and copyright infringement are rather beneath you, don't you think?"
"Perhaps we've gone too far," said the Doctor. "No, wait, I recognize that sign. Or, at least I think I do."
"I earned the rank of Colonel, if not necessarily in the traditional manner. Anyway," the Colonel flicked his eyes across the War Chief's sharp cheekbones, "at least my sideburns don't come in as spikes."
"I shave them that way," sniffed the War Chief. "It's fashion - you wouldn't understand. Just look at your clothes."
"I had to borrow these," said the Colonel. "My own suits are perfectly adequate."
"I'm sure you think so," said the War Chief. "In a way, you're lucky. It's much easier for Time Lords such as yourself whose bodies look so very old. No one expects you to keep yourselves up, unlike us poor younger-bodied ones."
"This body has character," said the Colonel. "I can't say the same for yours; you could have copied it from one of my old academy portraits. No wonder you felt the need for ridiculous facial hair in order to distinguish yourself."
"Is this the right alley?" wondered the Doctor. "Oh, everything looks so different in the dark."
"Doctor," Jamie called. "The TARDIS is right this way." He pointed at an alley they had just gone past.
"Thank you, Jamie." The Doctor frowned and started patting his pockets for the key.
"Can we hurry it up a little?" asked Jenny. "The King's starting to get restive." His Majesty was indeed fidgeting in her grasp, trying to subtly dislodge the barrel of her revolver from his ribs.
"You want I should shoot him in the leg?" asked Villar. "It will not kill him, and it will make it much harder to run."
The guards shifted uneasily at this suggestion, but the Doctor shook his head.
"No," he said, producing the key, "I think we're practically out of here. We'll just calmly walk down that alley, and then-"
"Renegades," boomed a voice out of nowhere. The crowd stirred as people looked wildly around, trying to find the source of the voice.
"Renegades, give yourselves up. You must face the consequences of your actions."
"They've found us," hissed the War Chief.
"This is what you didn't have time to explain?" demanded the Colonel. "You're being hunted by the High Council, and you didn't bother to tell me?"
"It's a recent development," said the Doctor.
"It's all his fault," said the War Chief, glaring at the Doctor.
"It most certainly is not." The Doctor wrung his hands. "But they can't do anything unless we're in the TARDIS. I mean, they wouldn't send someone to pick us up, would they? That would be interfering in history."
"Father, what's going on?" asked Thomas. He, Perrott, and Jamie were wide-eyed and staring, not having experienced this before.
"It's my people, Thomas, the ones who exiled me. The War Chief here has apparently called them down on us all." The Colonel turned back to the Doctor. "We can't just stand here forever."
"Something will happen," said the Doctor. "Something has to, and then we can take advantage of it."
"Renegades, surrender now," said the voice, and everyone jumped. The King took advantage of it to twist out of Jenny's grip, shoving her revolver away.
"Guards! Guards, arrest these people."
Jenny fired a wild shot, missing everyone. There was an odd screeching noise, and her stray bullet embedded itself in the front of a carriage that had just appeared in the middle of the road.
"Right," said a man, popping out of it. "That's enough of that. You're all coming with me."
"Narvin?" said the Colonel. "They sent Narvin?"
"Yes," confirmed Narvin. "Why don't you all stop running around like savages and just come home with me? It makes me sad to see good Prydonians acting like this. Especially you, Theta Sigma. What would your House say?"
"I don't see what business it is of theirs. Or of yours, whoever you are," said the Doctor, shortly. "Colonel, you know this person?"
"He's a CIA operative," said the Colonel. "I worked with him before I resigned. I assume he's come to collect you."
"More or less," agreed Narvin. "If you'd all just step into my," he looked around at the outside of his vehicle, "carriage, we can be on our way."
"Absolutely not," shouted the King. "Now that I have escaped, these villains are subject to my justice!"
Narvin raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid the Laws of Time take precedence over your primitive conceptions of 'justice'."
"That's it," said the King, "I will not be spoken to in this manner. Guards, arrest this man."
"Just one moment," said Narvin. He ducked back into the interior of the carriage, even as the guards approached, pikes at the ready.
One of them seized the handle of the passenger's door, pulling it half open. Just then, a pulse of blue light spread through the immediate area. The guards froze, along with the King and the crowd of spectators. Perrott stopped moving as well, though Thomas and Jenny only looked confused for a moment before shaking it off.
"Time field," said Narvin, popping out again. He pushed away the immobile guard who was still clutching the handle of his carriage door. "Halts the time line of anyone who's aligned to this era."
"Can you do that, Doctor?" asked Jamie. He was passing a hand in front of Perrott's face, eliciting no reaction.
"No," said the Doctor. "I wasn't even aware the technology existed."
"Oh, I've been given quite a few toys to play with," said Narvin. He smiled, dryly. "The Doctor and the War Chief are considered very high priority. The War Lord and his men have already been eliminated, so you're the last loose ends."
"What happened to them?" said the War Chief.
"Dematerialised," said Narvin. "They tried to fight us off. Foolish, but at least they can't make any more mistakes now."
"What about the soldiers, eh?" said Villar. "You demarrialy them as well?"
"Of course not," said Narvin. "The displaced primitives have been returned to their respective eras, just as you will be. This is acceptable?"
"Huh," said Villar. "I guess. The Doctor cannot get me back to Mexico, the little lady says." He nodded at Zoe. "Better to ride with you than never return at all." He lowered his carbine, and Narvin smiled.
"Excellent. All that remains is to gather the other displaced Humans. I assume that all of those not frozen are also not from this era."
"No," said the Colonel, quickly. "Jenny and Thomas were both born in this time, but are not affected."
Jenny waved, hesitantly. Thomas just folded his arms and watched his father.
"You must have polluted their timelines with artron energy," said Narvin, with disgust. "Very well. I'll just take the fugitives - not you, Koschei, I know you're serving your exile here - and the primitives who obviously don't fit.” Narvin eyed everyone’s appearance, judging them against the crowd. He passed quickly over Zoe and Jenny’s dresses and Thomas’ suit. He paused for a moment at Jamie’s kilt, but eventually that passed muster as well. “You seem to be the only one." Narvin nodded at Villar. “Right, let’s go.”
"Doctor, don't go with him," said Zoe.
"Aye, we can fight him off," said Jamie. "He's just one man."
"One man with all the power the CIA could give him," said the Doctor. "Narvin, what will you do if I try to run?"
"Shoot you," said Narvin, cheerfully. "You'll probably be executed anyway, so I don't mind saving the High Council a trial."
"Oh, Doctor!" said Zoe.
"I have to go," said the Doctor. "It will be worse for us all if I don't."
"You can't be serious," said the War Chief. "We have to get away."
The Doctor looked at him with sad eyes.
"I don't think we can run any longer. Getting to the TARDIS would just play into their hands, now, and there's nowhere to hide. What options do we have left?"
"We must try," snarled the War Chief. He turned and ran, weaving through the still crowd that surrounded them.
Narvin disappeared back into his carriage, reemerging with a ray gun. Ignoring the protests of Zoe and Jamie, he aimed carefully and picked the War Chief off, dropping him as he neared the edge of the time field.
"I did warn him," said Narvin. "Nobody ever listens to me."
"How could you?" demanded Zoe. "Murderer!" Her fists balled up and she started to rush at Narvin, but Jenny held her back, staring at the ray gun and biting her lip.
"I'm sure he's just stunned," said the Doctor.
"No," said Narvin. "If he's willing to waste a regeneration on a foolhardy escape attempt, I'm willing to indulge him."
"That was completely unnecessary!" The Doctor's voice rose immediately from its previous calm tones.
"Don't get yourself into a huff," said Narvin, rolling his eyes. "The War Chief will be fine, once we get him into my TARDIS' zero room. Primitive, retrieve the body."
"My name is Arturo Villar," said Villar. He didn't move.
"Fine, Artooroveeya. Could you please retrieve the body for me? The sooner we're out of here, the sooner you'll be back in your proper time."
"Back with my men, yes?"
"Yes, of course." Narvin watched with satisfaction as Villar grunted and went to collect the War Chief. "Make your goodbyes, Doctor."
"They're going to kill you too!" said Zoe, her eyes glistening.
"You can't let him hurt you," said Jamie, his eyes also suspiciously bright.
"Now, don't worry." The Doctor patted Zoe on the shoulder and then, after a moment, kissed her on the forehead awkwardly. He ignored the Colonel's sudden glower.
"I'm sure the High Council won't do anything drastic." The Doctor smiled, and shook Jamie by the hand. "I'll come back as soon as I am able. The Colonel will take care of you both."
"I will, will I?" said the Colonel. He frowned again as shaking hands with Jamie turned into hugging Jamie.
"Don't be like that," said the Doctor, looking over Jamie's shoulder. "They're good and capable. They'll be able to fend for themselves in no time."
"I can already fend for myself," said Jamie. Zoe gave him a patronizing look.
"Can we hurry up the emotional goodbyes?" asked Narvin. "Wait, I had forgotten for a moment that this is Koschei and his boyfriend that he used to bore us all about. Of course we can't."
"Shut up, Narvin," said the Colonel, through gritted teeth. The Doctor just smiled as he disentangled himself from Jamie.
"I will be back, you know," he said, putting his hands on the Colonel's arms.
"When you're able," said the Colonel, looking the Doctor straight in the eye. "I heard you."
"You're still upset with me," said the Doctor. "You don't get to be upset with me - I'm upset with you!"
"What? Why?"
"Any number of reasons. You took one of my companions on a doomed attempt to steal from the King of England. You're terribly jealous with absolutely no grounds. The War Chief I understand, though it's absurd, but Jamie and Zoe? Honestly?"
"Your friend implied-" The Colonel almost fell into explaining himself, but rallied. "Never mind. You left me on Earth for decades, Doctor, don't forget."
"You've done admirably well for yourself," said the Doctor. "Evaded the law, made a life, settled down with a wife and children which you hide from me..."
"I feel like we've had this conversation before," said the Colonel. "Can we move on to the part where you run off to find the War Chief? Of whom I'm not allowed to be jealous?"
"I didn't say you weren't allowed to be jealous, I said it was absurd to be jealous."
"Omega, Rassilon, and the Other, just kiss each other already." Narvin ran his hands over his face. "I want to leave, not listen to your stupid spats."
"Narvin, I will find you when you're without your toys, and murder you." The Colonel said it quite calmly. "It may take a while, but I can be determined, as you well know."
"I think we'd better do as Narvin says." The Doctor squeezed the Colonel's arms. "Do you think you can set aside our difficulties, just for a moment?"
"I suppose we can straighten everything out when you return." The Colonel smiled.
"Good," said the Doctor, and stood on his toes to kiss him.
Everyone waited, patiently.
The Colonel put his arms around the Doctor's back and leaned into him, bringing their bodies closer together.
"Why?" asked Narvin with despair. "Why did they send me? Why not someone who didn't know Koschei well enough to be embarrassed for us both?"
"I joke about these things," said Thomas, "but I really did not need to see this."
"Thomas," said Jamie, suddenly. "I think your dad's in love with the Doctor."
"Are you always this oblivious?" asked Thomas. "Or do you just have a blind spot when it comes to the Doctor?"
Jamie colored. "What are you trying to say?"
"Oh, be quiet," said Zoe. She looked up at Jenny and squeezed her hand. "I think it's sweet. Don't you, Jenny?"
The Doctor had his hands clasped around the back of the Colonel's neck and was slowly being dipped lower and lower to the ground as the Colonel pressed forward.
"I think that the Doctor's back bends much more than mine does," said Jenny, staring. "And neither of them must need to breathe."
Zoe glared at her.
"Aye, sweet," said Jenny. "Very sweet."
"Just so you know," said Narvin, loudly, "I was planning on going soon, rather than in a hundred years' time."
"I think he's figured out our cunning plan," said the Doctor, pulling away from the Colonel and trying to straighten up. The Colonel just grinned at him, keeping his feet more or less off the ground.
"Better let me down before Narvin gets trigger-happy again," warned the Doctor. A shadow passed over his eyes briefly, despite the humor in his tone.
"Fine," said the Colonel. He released the Doctor, and then steadied him to keep him from overbalancing. "You will come back, though. In less than a couple decades time." His tone hovered between a statement and a plea.
The Doctor just smiled in return, and walked over to Narvin's carriage.
"At long last," said Narvin, not at all under his breath. "Come on, we'll pick up your TARDIS on the way." He grabbed the Doctor's hand and hoisted him into the passenger's compartment, where Villar and the War Chief's body already were.
Narvin ducked back in one last time, stopping only to wave at the Colonel, who just glared. In a moment there was a grinding and groaning noise, and the carriage disappeared.
"Right," said the Colonel. "That's that, then." He quickly hid the lost look that had fallen on his face
"This stopped-time device is wearing off," observed Thomas. Some of the guards were beginning to shudder back to life, followed by the nearest of the crowd.
"Maybe we should leave," said Jenny.
"What happened?" said the King, coming out of the effects of the time field. "Where am I?"
"Your Majesty," said the Colonel, grabbing the King's chin and forcing him to look into his eyes. "I am the Colonel, and you will obey me."
---
"Let's see," said Narvin, at his console controls. "I'll drop you off first, Doctor, then the primitive - excuse me, Artooroveeya - and finally the War Chief. Acceptable?"
"Of course," said the Doctor, and leapt at the controls.
"They're on isomorphic," said Narvin. His eyes smiled as the Doctor backed off, sucking on his burnt fingers.
"You can't blame me for trying," said the Doctor.
"I can, though," said Narvin. He sighed, shaking his head. "I really can."
"You must make sure to bring me right back to my men," said Villar. "They cannot wait much longer."
"I assure you, Artooroveeya, I can return you to your bandits at exactly the right time, no matter how long we take. Time travel, you understand?"
"Good," said Villar, stepping back. "Then the Doctor can go first."
"Thank you," said Narvin, with an attempt at infinite patience that sounded more like infinite condescension. "Prepare yourself for your trial, Doctor. It will begin immediately."
"If I must." The Doctor closed his eyes and sat in silence until the TARDIS materialized on Gallifrey. Without a word, Narvin busied himself about the controls, setting it into flight again, but leaving the Doctor and his own TARDIS behind.
"Do not let these law men bother you," said Villar, as he faded away. He pulled on his moustache, solemnly. "Remember, they will never know the joy of being free men, such as we."
"Good luck, Villar," said the Doctor, opening his eyes. "Good luck in your war."
"Stop talking to each other," complained Narvin. "This is very delicate, and your interaction is preventing the particles from disentangl- ah, there we go."
The Doctor and his TARDIS were left alone, at last. He patted her door and looked around the courtroom they had been deposited in. Finally, his eyes lit on the triumvirate of judges that had come to conduct his trial. The Doctor sighed and got up from the floor, putting his thumbs into his lapels.
"I suppose you want me to explain myself?"
"You will have a chance to present for the defense," said one of the judges, a tall, fair-haired man.
"Good," said the Doctor. "I have quite a lot of things to say about all this."
---
"You will let us all go free," said the Colonel. "A full pardon."
"Yes," said His Majesty. His eyes were glazed, and he was sweating as he attempted to break the Colonel's hypnotic control. "Yes. You shall all go free."
"Good. And nobody coming by in the night to get rid of us as embarrassments to the Crown."
"No," said the King. "No need for that."
"Hurry up, Father," said Thomas. "The guards will be at our throats in a minute."
Perrott came back to himself, looking wildly around. Jamie grabbed his arm to stop him from running off and disturbing the Colonel's hold on the King. The rest of the crowd was already moving sluggishly.
"And you will give me rulership of England!" said the Colonel, triumphantly.
"What? No! It's mine!" The King glared as the Colonel's control slipped.
"Alright, perhaps just an income and an estate, then," the Colonel said in soothing tones, backtracking a little. "I can settle for that, I suppose."
"Yes," said the King, falling back into the forced calm. "Lands in Ireland. A suitable reward for- for-"
"For not stealing the Crown Jewels," supplied the Colonel.
"For not stealing the Crown Jewels," echoed the King.
"Colonel, they're coming," said Jamie. The Colonel dropped his hands from the King's temples, and the guards grabbed him from behind.
"Stop!" shouted the King. "Unhand this man!"
The guards stared at him blankly. The Colonel just grinned.
"I have granted Colonel Blood and his compatriots a full pardon, and they shall go free! Indeed, I have decided to bestow an estate and an income upon the esteemed Colonel."
The King's voice sounded natural, but the men boggled at his words.
"What?" ventured the captain of the guard. "But, Your Majesty, this is the man who kidnapped the Duke of Ormonde, not to mention your own self."
"Ye-es," said the King, doubtfully. "There is that."
"I'll write the Duke a letter of apology," said the Colonel, exercising the last threads of his power over the King. "My compunction so far exceeds expression, and so on."
"You see," said the King. "He'll write Ormonde an apology. No problem."
"This is ridiculous," said Zoe.
"Be quiet," said Jenny. "They might notice."
---
The judges took their time deciding on the verdict. They stood in a loose triangle, communicating telepathically in a way that excluded the Doctor. Allowed to remain in the room, the Doctor slumped against a wall, humming tunelessly.
"We are ready to pass sentence," said the leader of the judges. The Doctor stood up straight, and pretended that he didn't care what they decided.
"We were impressed by your arguments about your good intentions in interfering with history. We admit that your hearts are in the right places. Yet this does not mitigate the nature of your crime. We condemn you to forced regeneration and exile. The secret of your TARDIS will be lost to you. We shall return it as we see fit."
"This is sounding terribly familiar," said the Doctor. "Standard punishment these days, is it? Very well. Where do you plan to exile me?"
"Your travels show a great fondness for Earth. We do not wish to cause you undue stress, so we will send you there."
"Your concern is touching," said the Doctor, not completely sarcastically. "If I may, I would prefer to be sent to the seventeenth century. Perhaps, oh, 1671? England?"
"We will confer." The judges turned to each other once more, resuming their silent discourse. The Doctor just stared at the ceiling and twiddled his thumbs.
"Yes," said the lead judge, at last. "We agree to your suggestion. You understand that you must remain on Earth until we reconsider your exile, however."
"Oh, of course," said the Doctor, crossing his fingers behind his back.
"Good. Now, we will allow you to choose your new appearance."
"It will have to be very handsome, just as I am now," warned the Doctor. He prepared to be disappointed.
---
The TARDIS materialized, and the Doctor staggered to the door as it opened. He was still weak from the pain of the forced regeneration, and he clung to the doorframe in an attempt to stay upright. Finally, he stuck his nose out into the air of the English countryside.
"No," he muttered, "no, this isn't right at all." He peered about, blinking owlishly. "Not the seventeenth century. Twentieth, if I'm not completely mistaken."
A car drove by the big field the TARDIS had landed in.
"Incompetent imbeciles," shouted the Doctor. "You've no more accuracy than- well, me!" He shook his fist at the sky, which meant he had to let go of the TARDIS' doorframe. Dizziness threatened to overwhelm him, and he swayed, dangerously, before collapsing into the grass, face-first.
"Sir? Sir, are you alright?"
The Doctor didn't move, and the UNIT soldier crouched down and shook him, gently.
"Sir? This area is off-limits, I'll- Sir? Damn it." He pulled a radio from his belt. "UNIT HQ, this is Captain Munro. Found unknown man, have to go to hospital. Over."
"Munro, this is the brigadier. What's this about a man? Over."
"Just some bloke, Sir. Collapsed outside a police box, middle of nowhere." Munro paused, waiting for a response. "Oops, sorry. Over."
"Get him to hospital, Munro. I'll be there as quick as I can. Over."
"Yes, Sir. Over and out." Munro put his radio away and stared at the Doctor. "What's so special about you, then? Ah, well, up you get." He slung the Doctor's arm over his shoulder, and began the long stumble to his car. "I expect I'll find out soon enough."
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You had me at Narvin. Well, you had me before, but, you know. Narvin! Be still my heart :D I wasn't disappointed, you write him very well.
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Anyway, glad you're enjoying and being surprised!
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"Omega, Rassilon, and the Other, just kiss each other already." Narvin ran his hands over his face. "I want to leave, not listen to your stupid spats."
My buttons, you have just pressed ALL OF THEM AT ONCE. Bringing Narvin in at all would have been enough, but Narvin + 'Everybody in the bloody universe knows they're idiots in love' + PUBLIC KISSINGS is just UNFAIR levels of win. In such a marvelous, marvelous way.
I am so excited for the last chapter! Three/Delgado FTW! Oh, and it bears mentioning that the bit with the War Chief and the Master sharpening their claws on each other was kind of the best thing in the whole wide world.
Awright, I've been wanting to ask since the first chapter: is Jenny the Doctor's daughter Jenny? 'Cause she's immune to the Time Field, but on the other hand the Master said she was born in that time. I AM VERY CONFUSED. She is badass and blonde and named Jenny? But...ah, well. All Will Be Revealed, I have no doubt *grin* Either way, the-Doctor's-daughter-Jenny/Zoe is now my OTP. Then again, EVERYBODY/Zoe is my OTP, so there is that.
LOVED this chapter. Can't wait for the next!
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Unfortunately Jenny Blaine is simply Jenny Blaine - Restoration actress and part-time jewel thief. She's immune to the Time Field because, as Narvin says, her timeline has been altered by artron energy from her brief trips on the SIDRAT.
I hadn't actually considered that people might mix Jenny up with actually canon Jenny until who_daily listed the last chapter as Zoe/Jenny. Which would, admittedly, be awesome. Sadly, it is not to be.
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There is not enough less-than-three in the world.
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Again, jealous War Chief and Koschei made me giggle, it was so cute! Awe, I do so love Two, he is absolutely adorable! Two and Koschei's goodbye kiss was so sexy and beautiful, I loved it to bits. :D
Thanks so much for another fantastic update! I am looking forward to the last part. :D
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