meme thing 2.0
29/11/12 10:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neveralarchI should be asleep, etc etc, but I've been working on Yuletide fic and homework and the weekend is coming up and I need something to keep me moving and not get stuck. So! Meme.
This is from LJ and then tumblr and I have no idea where it originated, sorry.
Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I’ll tell you something about the story I’d write for that combination (i.e. write a snippet from the story or write not!fic or tell you the title and summary for the story I would write)
1. genderswap
2. bodyswap
3. drunk!fic
4. huddling for warmth
5. pretending to be married
6. secretly a virgin
7. amnesia
8. cross-dressing
9. forced to share a bed
10. truth or dare
11. historical AU
12. accidental-baby-acquisition
13. apocalypse fic
14. telepathy
15. High School / College AU
Anything I write will be solidly not!fic, probably, but feel free to give me whatever fandom. You can see the ones I've written on AO3, and I am also happy to write Skyfall Bond and any other fandoms you think I might know.
This is from LJ and then tumblr and I have no idea where it originated, sorry.
Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I’ll tell you something about the story I’d write for that combination (i.e. write a snippet from the story or write not!fic or tell you the title and summary for the story I would write)
1. genderswap
2. bodyswap
3. drunk!fic
4. huddling for warmth
5. pretending to be married
6. secretly a virgin
7. amnesia
8. cross-dressing
9. forced to share a bed
10. truth or dare
11. historical AU
12. accidental-baby-acquisition
13. apocalypse fic
14. telepathy
15. High School / College AU
Anything I write will be solidly not!fic, probably, but feel free to give me whatever fandom. You can see the ones I've written on AO3, and I am also happy to write Skyfall Bond and any other fandoms you think I might know.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-01 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-01 05:03 am (UTC)Moran and Moriarty kidfic - gen, but watch out for all the blood and death.
Date: 2012-12-28 10:08 pm (UTC)Anyway, I feel like the stories I have seen with these characters + kids before usually involve Jim turning up with a kid because he's wacky or whatever, which is admittedly a good description. But in this story it is Seb who brings in the child. Let's say he was out on a hit and got the target (obviously) but it turns out the target had a kid that Seb didn't know about, more of a baby still, and Seb kept the murder quiet so the police won't be coming for a good long while and the kid is on its own here, and Seb thinks about calling the cops himself but that's a bad idea for lots of obvious reasons, and finally Seb just picks up the baby and goes, because he's not the best at dealing with unexpected situations.
Well, he is pretty good at unexpected situations. It's just that his default response is violence and he doesn't want to try and apply that here.
Seb and Jim aren't living together in this continuity, so Seb spends a good week trying to track down the kid's relatives and not having any luck and trying not to kill the kid by accident. And then Jim drops by unexpectedly and Seb can't answer the door because he's holding the baby upside-down and trying to heat formula on the stove while digging out a new pack of diapers and eat his own lunch. And Jim finishes picking the lock open just when Seb has gotten himself kicked in the face by the baby, and is trying to hold his nose and not drop the kid at the same time, and his shirt is covered in spilled formula,
and
Jim
stares.
Seb has no idea what to do with a baby, so he's been playing it by ear and google searches. But Jim has seven siblings (four surviving, don't ask), so he takes charge pretty quickly. Seb is worried about what this will mean for the kid, but he also wasn't looking forward to changing that diaper again, so he gives in without much of a fight.
Jim is TORN here - on the one hand, baby! Baby that he can raise to be the heir to his criminal empire! He can teach it how to smile properly, and how to lie, and how to count cards, and how to kill someone with a paperclip. It'll be awesome.
On the other hand, Jim knows stories, and he knows that raising the child of someone you've killed and teaching the child lots of skills relevant to avenging their parent's death is generally not a good idea. A better idea would be to leave the child at a police station in another country and let them deal with it. The best idea would be to kill the child. Less complicated. Less travel time involved.
The baby gurgles, and smiles a gummy smile at Jim. He is unmoved. But there's Seb, with the little furrow between his brows that means he knows what Jim is thinking and he doesn't like it - Seb won't do anything to stop Jim, he knows better, but he'll sulk for MONTHS, it'll be Moscow all over again.
So Jim bounces the baby until it's laughing and says "We're naming him Sebastian, Seb."
"It's a girl," says Seb.
"Stop enforcing gender on such a small thing," says Jim. "We're naming zie Sebastian."
In the end small Seb grows up and identifies as female after all, and she does eventually revenge herself on Moriarty's criminal empire. Lots of fire, lots of explosions, lots of small Seb's extremely deranged grin. There's probably a very touching moment where Jim is coughing up blood and saying things like "that's my girl," and I'm not sure how if this ends happily or badly but I've got a very strong image of a bloody-but-alive Jim on the floor as small Seb points a gun at him and Seb points a gun at her.
And Seb says "I'm the one who killed your father, I pulled the trigger-"
And small Seb says "You're wrong, Jim pulled the trigger, you're just another weapon that he uses-"
And Jim laughs as the warehouse burns down around him, because he knew it would come to this and he did it anyway.
And that's how you get from cracky baby fic to major Jim and Seb angst in about five minutes.
Re: Moran and Moriarty kidfic - gen, but watch out for all the blood and death.
Date: 2012-12-29 12:03 am (UTC)Hah! Happily, from Jim's perspective, I'm sure, with all that paternal pride he's got to be feeling. Also, love the Reservoir Dogs image in this snippet.
Great stuff!
Re: Moran and Moriarty kidfic - gen, but watch out for all the blood and death.
Date: 2012-12-29 02:27 am (UTC)