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I am sooooo behind with band posts, and I actually like having these as reference a lot, so I am going to make a good faith attempt to catch up even though it's late and I should be sleeping. I've seen 4 concerts this semester, and this was the first, right before the semester actually started in January! It was Jukebox the Ghost.

under the cut!! )
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Okay, this is the post about fencing and gender that I've been thinking about for a while. Because I think about fencing literally every day, haha.

Today in particular I was talking to another coach at a competition. We were from the only two schools that had brought sabre that day, and we were bemoaning that. A couple other schools had promised to bring sabre, but had dropped out at the last second because they didn't have enough people. Sabre is generally the smallest event at any fencing event, but it can be especially rough at the high school level. Well, sure, I said. After all, it's only in the last generation (my generation) that you have women who grew up fencing sabre and can pass it on/coach/act as role models for the next generation of fencers. There wasn't an American national championship for women's sabre until 1988, and that only came after huge efforts by the amazing Ruby Watson. We didn't get a world championship until 1999, or an Olympic event until 2004. Two thousand and fucking four.

"What," said the other coach. "Are you blaming this on the fencing patriarchy?"

Yes. )
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I've been pretty quiet lately, and it's because I've been SUPER STRESSED OUT about this fencing competition my club was hosting. It's the brainchild of me and one of the other officers, and I ended up doing quite a bit of the organization. Which sucked up a lot of time since the competition attracted about three times as many people as we were expecting. Like, it was a silly relay team tournament, and we were figuring about 4-6 teams per weapon would show up and we'd do a round robin. Instead 11-13 teams per weapon showed up (about 100 people), and we had to do bouts + bracket. For a solid two weeks I've been watching the registration numbers climb and panicking. I obtained extra strips (so that we had 12), got us access to one of the local clubs when we realized we'd probably run past the closing time of our gym, got places to stay for 11 out-of-state fencers, and sent a huge number of emails.

Put on top of this that I had agreed to fence all three weapons with two of my friends. Hahahaha.

But it all went really well! Really, really well. We fit all 12 strips in the gym, and all of the out-of-state fencers had places to stay. Sabre ran smoothly, and while foil and epee got delayed a little, they ran mostly smoothly too. We did end up in the overflow location, but mostly it seemed like people understood that this was a ridiculous experience and had fun with it. People came up to me all day to say thank you for organizing it and that they'd had a great time and were looking forward to next year. I was my usual competitive mess and got pretty upset when we got knocked out in sabre, but I did have a lot of fun fencing foil and I did better in epee than usual. And my friends were very high-energy, which was great because we finished at 10.45 pm. After starting at 9 (and I was already doing organization stuff at 7.30). 14 hours of fencing. My mantra was 'NEXT YEAR TWO DAYS,' and I think that will help us out a lot. Also it wouldn't be as exhausting. I spent today in a fog of stiff limbs, bruised arms and superbowl, haha. In total I fenced about 39 bouts, which is A LOT.

There's lots of little things that made it super worthwhile. Getting to fence the head coach of my HS gig in her weapon (and getting crushed). Swapping between weapons and feeling how it changed my sabre game. Chatting with people that I know well or have never met or see once a year. Getting to fence against some of my students as competitors (although I sadly missed out on fencing some of my other students). It was a huge full day and it was overwhelming and wonderful. As one of the other officers put it: "this is a nightmare, I'm so excited."

Results-wise: top 8 in sabre and foil, and second place in epee (which is great because none of us fence epee). The head coach at my HS and her team got second in foil, a team mostly made up of my students got second in sabre, and of course I know half of the people who participated so a full accounting would basically be the same as reproducing all of the results. But I'm really glad it went well and I'm really glad it's OVER. Last night we went from cleaning up to a late night Chinese place, where I ate a huge amount of food and reveled in the fact that I'm almost done with this tournament. Just need to upload the results tomorrow and send out an email thanking everyone for fencing and helping and being great.

I was re-reading my earliest posts about fencing on this blog the other night, and thinking about how I would never have been able to envision myself doing any of this stuff. Coaching, being a club officer, organizing a big competition. I'm really glad I've kept a journal for these 7 years of sports obsession, so that I can see how everything gradually changed.
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Waaay back in December, I was lucky enough to have tickets to the 10th (and last) Doomtree Blowout! It was amazing.

the localest of bands )
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I'm preparing to get on a bus tomorrow morning with the high school team, to coach them at a big tournament on Saturday. In order to get there we have to be on a bus 12 hours each way, which adds up to TOO MUCH BUS and TOO MUCH KIDS. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm preparing by digging out my DVD of By the Sword, because they are old enough to be introduced to that greatest of fencing classics. I am also preparing by not going to bed as early as I had hoped (I'm waiting for laundry to finish), which I guess will mean that I'll sleep better on the bus?? We can only dream. Probably not dream, I usually don't dream when I nap on buses.

Today I got ambushed by a neighbor who has a broken phone and no car, loaned her my phone briefly, acquiesced to giving her a ride to the hospital and back, and then hid in my house with the lights off in case her lawyer failed to show up and she needed a ride to court. It was okay, lawyer showed up and honked really loudly outside of my window to let her know that they were waiting. I also took my cat to the vet, coached, and went to my own practice with the new assistant coach who I'd never seen fence before. She's okay, she fences like someone from Western Mass who never got a proper lesson and has been learning by doing. There was a lot of frantic slashing that I just sort of backed away from, but she's got some solid footwork and takes correction very easily.

Now that I have shared my day and done a proper journal post, please help me in my bus endeavors by telling me interesting things about your day or fandoms or ??? I'm too tired to think of three things.
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It's time! It's time again!

Actually it was time almost two weeks ago, but I was busy. So.

This past year was my fifth putting stories up on the internet. Actually, if we exclude a terrible 200-word Torchwood fic I wrote in 2009, the 25th of January is my fanfic birthday and it will be turning five! If we include the drabble (it's about Jack outliving everyone because I figured that's where Torchwood was heading after the show killed a bunch of people off, you can read it if that's really what you want to do with your life), my fanfic turns six today. This is weird.

Anyway, I wrote and posted 78,294 words of fanfic this year. That breaks down into 18 stories. This is lowest story and wordcount I've ever had, and the majority of my fic was for Yuletide - 11 stories out of the 18. (Although it's important to note that only 16,314 words were for Yuletide. Most of the non-Yuletide fic was kind of long.)

Looking back, my annual numbers document the slide of Doctor Who fic from completely dominating my wordcount, to being roughly half of my wordcount, to being a slice, and now Who is represented by either a single fic (my Who remix story) or two if you think a silly Five(ish) Doctors fic counts as Who-fic and not some kind of RPF parody. I actually became very solidly multi-fannish this year, which was fun but a little lonesome, haha. Technically I didn't write more than one fic in any fandom, although Marvel and Doctor Who could be given two each - but they draw from completely different canons in both cases, so I think it's fair to say that this was a one-and-done year. That is a fun kind of accomplishment, but I do miss the long-term interactions that I get from sticking with a fandom for even a couple months. I kind of got that with baseball on tumblr, at least.

Okay, now questions! I went on for longer than usual this year, partly because I let myself rant about Hornblower. I have some that I answer every year and a couple new ones that I stole from aralias' year in review post. New questions (mostly) first.

too many words under the cut )

Related Works

10/1/15 08:17 pm
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ALSO I am a disaster area who is always forgetting to talk about the cool things people are doing with my fic. So here are three belated things:

Kollega translated my Doctor Who fic The Most Secret Diary into Russian, which can be found here. She ALSO sent me some comments translated from Russian to English, which was awesome and saved me from awkward google translate (I am always hungry for comments).

[personal profile] juniperphoenix made a podfic of my Doctor Who fic Young Men and Fast Cars, which can be found here. It's a really good reading that completely captures the tone I was trying for :)

More recently, petercapaldi on tumblr (who assures me that they are the real Peter Capaldi, definitely) made a fanmix based on my Hawkeye fic Life of Crime, which can be found here. I have been listening to this over and over while unpacking/studying/lying around uselessly, it is a good time.

Quick life stuff update: I went home for two weeks and now I am back in grad school land, where I have been doing a little bit of work but have mostly been lying around and coaching and being kind of sick. Coaching is FRUSTRATING but actually going really well?? No one will do what I think they should except for when it suddenly works. For example today I had to scold one of the kids for hitting too hard and make his friends scold him etc and he was totally blowing me off and I was going to murder him... Except then he stopped hitting so hard and started being a little more controlled and won the competition. I am proud and annoyed. I have to hang out with all of these kids for allllll of next weekend while we ride a bus all over the place and fence and ride back, haha. I will probably not murder any of them.

I got up at 6am and coached from 7.30 to 4.30 and I feel like I am slowly collapsing in on myself. Currently I am sitting around in someone else's house with someone else's dog, as part of a 'write things' party. So far I have written one entire email, filled out part of an application for a summer program, done that Yuletide repost, done some tag wrangling, and responded to a few comments! And written this post. I am not sure if this is an illusion of productivity or actual productivity.
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Heyyy, I am just cross-posting this Yuletide fic really quickly because someone on the AO3 asked me if I would post it to a Hornblower comm and it feels weird to do so without making it directly available on LJ/DW. So.

On Land and At Sea
Hornblower
Rating: adult
(Explicit sex)
Characters: William Bush/Horatio Hornblower/Barbara Wellesley
Wordcount: 8200ish
Summary: Hornblower introduces his captain to his wife. (A missing chapter from the beginning of Commodore Hornblower.)
A/N: Written for Yuletide 2014, for binz! Huge thanks to my beta aralias, who as usual made this way better than it was.

fic under the cut )

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I checked who my authors were as soon as they were revealed because I really wanted to know, haha. Not Like I Feint Every Time We Touch is by Aja, and VII. Lakeland is by livii (which I had kind of guessed). Very grateful to both of them, this was an awesome Yuletide :)

My main fic:

On Land and At Sea (8283 words) for binz
Hornblower - C. S. Forester, Adult
William Bush/Horatio Hornblower/Barbara Wellesley
Summary: Hornblower introduces his captain to his wife. (A missing chapter from the beginning of Commodore Hornblower.)

This was super last minute for me - I had to upload a finished but very rough draft for the deadline, then got aralias to do a last-minute beta for me, and edited and posted the final version on the 23rd/24th. But it did get finished, and I think it turned out pretty well :) It was a little weird to be writing sex stuff for Yuletide, but I am huge fan of binz (and shiplizard)'s kinky Hornblower fic, so as soon as I saw binz's prompts I wanted to write something along similar lines.

On the 22nd and 23rd I wrote a bunch of Madness fic (as usual), and all of those are under the cut.

Read more... )
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New fic! By which I mean - fic that I wrote and posted to tumblr ages ago, and am only cleaning up now because I need it posted properly for my new year round-up.

And More Are on the Way
Baseball RPF
Rating: pg
(Swearing)
Characters: Pablo Sandoval, Madison Bumgarner, Bruce Bochy
Wordcount: 950ish
Summary: There are reasonable explanations for how Bumgarner managed to be so dominant in the 2014 postseason. This is not one of them.
A/N: Set between games 6 and 7 of the 2014 World Series (and written pretty immediately after the WS, I just didn't get around to archiving it).

Read it on the AO3!

I've been very baseball lately and it's only slowed down a LITTLE since the season ended - just last week I wrote some asexual!Brandon Finnegan pretend marriage not-fic, which I will admit is a weird direction to go with my life. I've been keeping it mostly to tumblr because that's where the baseball fans I interact with are, but let me know if you want to talk about baseball and I will talk about it so much omg. Probably not coherently, though.

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This year I got two (two!) fics for Yuletide and I adore both of them so much, gosh. They are both about sports but only tangentially, in much the way that my fannish life recently has been weirdly about and not about sports.

My main fic was for By the Sword (!!!!)

Not like I feint every time we touch (1831 words)
Fandom: By the Sword (1991)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Max Suba/Alexander Villard, Danny Gallagher, Erin Clavelli
Summary: It’s all about prise de fer, baby.

This is a very silly fic about a terrible fencing movie that I love. I talk about By the Sword ALL THE TIME, I have forced many people to watch it, and now I can apparently add my Yuletide author to that list :D And they have written me the perfect coda to the movie, one that embraces the absurdity, doesn't let anyone off the hook, and includes a soundtrack. It's glorious. Also I am in love with the title. (And if any of this is intriguing you and you want to watch the original movie - it's on youtube!)

I also got a bonus fic for the Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles which makes me super gleeful.

VII. Lakeland (2002 words)
Fandom: The Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Tim Tebow, lots of Argonauts
Summary:
Go Toronto Argos go go go
Pull together fight the foe foe foe
Scoring touchdowns for the blue on blue
The Argos will win for you!

TTCC is a surreal take on football, Canada, and the energy crisis. This fic is also a coda, bringing the tone of the ending way way up as Tim Tebow's football studio is joined by a bunch of former Argonauts and made into a success. It's really funny and sweet and has excellent illustrations, and it's exactly what I wanted from TTCC fic.

Man, what a great Yuletide. IDK when I'll get around to going through the rest of the collection, but I'm looking forward to it.

(As usual I went a little off the deep end on the last couple days, so I have 5 fics in the main collection and 6 in Madness. So far they've been well received :) )

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I am super behind on a lot of blogging stuff, so my goal is to get through them before the new year. This is the first of two concert posts! And a post about Yuletide is to come later today.

Against Me! and The Gaslight Anthem )

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Hey so I have been sad all day due to car troubles preventing me going home + my uncle’s dog dying + THE WORLD. I have been trying to combat this with a lot of self-indulgent things and I’m having variable and mostly low success rates so I need a distraction. Give me fic prompts and I will try to put together some kind of not-fic thing! Silly/trope-y fic prompts preferred, any fandom, if I don’t know the fandom I will shrug and the not-fic will probably be very sketchy, haha.

Really I should be writing my yuletide fic and I AM, but unfortunately it is a little angsty atm and it keeps setting me off again.
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Yooo, I have had a stressful/dead-line filled past few days, full of little sleep and a surprise mouse corpse in the sink. So I am doing this WIP meme! I am going to post favorite lines or SOMETHING from the... seven WIPs certainly sitting on my desktop waiting for me to survive the last week of term. It would be nine, but I can't mess with the Yuletide-related ones.

If you want to know more about any of the WIPs, just ask and I will happily babble. And feel free to take this chance and post your own WIP stuff, because I'm always interested to know what people are working on.

---

fic from MANY fandoms under the cut )
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Hi, here is one of those omphaloskeptic posts about fencing.

Fencing! Fencing. Much of my life is consumed by fencing. Things that have happened or are happening soon:
Club practice started up, I'm one of the club officers and run part of practice once a week when the coaches can't make it.
I went to a referee clinic and got rated to direct all three weapons.
I finally won my E rating at a local competition.
I've been learning bits and pieces of ASL to help coach a new deaf fencer on my club team.
I've been practicing an average of 10-12 hours a week, woooo.
I also started taking lessons consistently for the first time in basically ever, from a super great coach who I haven't really gelled with yet but who does seem to get what my main technique problems are.
I had a competition last weekend where I went 20-3 and mostly did not have a meltdown and strip-coached and talked to friends from other teams and was awake for 24-fucking-hours between travel and competing and travel again.
High school practices are about to start up again, at which point my personal practice time is going to take a nose-dive and I'll be coaching about 10 hours a week and only practicing between 2 and 4.

Skill-wise, I've had some really clear indicators lately that I'm trending up! The directing rating, and the E, and the 20-3 record. A friend of mine who coaches for another team told his fencers that I was a 'good - not amazing, but competent' fencer, which is extremely accurate and pretty high praise from him. Although I gave him a hard time about it, haha. It can be hard to tell how I'm doing since my benchmarks are other fencers who are ALSO getting better, so the concrete signals help.

Time commitment is a challenge. I don't have time to do all this stuff - or I do, but barely. The more I talk to older fencers, the more I realize that almost everyone, even the very best people, even college coaches and world-class referees, lives a dual life between fencing and their 'real' job. And living that kind of dual-track seems exhausting but also inevitable. I already know that part of my job search when I'm done with my PhD will depend on what universities are hiring near fencing hotspots. Which is worrying, because you honestly don't have that much choice with academic jobs. I guess I'll just play it by ear.

Emotions-wise - ehhh. I'm beginning to figure out that it's always going to be a matter of good and bad days for me. I've had a lot of good days recently and only a couple of bad practices where I just could not deal with how shitty I was feeling. At this most recent competition I was mostly good and having a great time, but apparently I scared a few of the newer fencers by yelling/being super intense. Not sure what to do about that, but the more experienced people said I was fine so maybe it will just have to be part of the competition experience for newbies. I also got really upset after a late 4-5 loss and scratched my face a little (which is a fun new self-harm behavior that I hadn't done before). But I bounced back quickly and finished the competition on a good note. I don't know where that leaves me. I care SO MUCH about fencing, way more than most things I do, and it's definitely where the majority of my emotions end up. Coaching takes me out of it a little, so it may be that as my fencing career trends further into the 'senior team member/strip-coach' area I'll even out more. We'll see! I think mostly I need to refocus from 'I am going to make myself stop being so intense and miserable about fencing' to 'I am going to make sure I can turn around quickly from being intense and miserable and just keep fencing because that will make me feel better.'

I also wrote up 3 emails for my team-mates about how they did and what their next steps should be, ran them past the head coach, and got them ready to send out. That helped me a lot and hopefully it will help them too! Senior team memberrrrr.

I feel like this is a more up-beat post than most I've made about fencing, anyway. So that's trending up too, haha.

be aware

31/10/14 10:10 pm
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By the way, it is Asexual Awareness week! Be aware, very aware. I'm a lot more open about my sexuality nowadays, but I hate trying to explain asexuality to people when it's me under the magnifying glass. It would be great if I had to do that basically... never, haha.

For asexuality awareness week I coincidentally sent a huge amount of asexuality resources to someone I talked to for a research project, so I am going to pass this all along, with my own personal opinions about the different sources, natch.

AVEN is the largest asexual advocacy group - while I don't engage with the forum very much, their FAQs and info pages are pretty comprehensive.

Asexual Awareness Week also have a very good FAQ.

There's a documentary on Netflix called (A)Sexual that discusses a lot of issues surrounding asexual inclusion and asexual daily life - I found it to be a bit basic, but it would probably be a good intro into how people are thinking about and engaging with Asexuality.

The Huffington Post ran a series on Asexuality that's actually really good and gets into a lot of the debates regarding asexual inclusion.

Finally, there are a lot of asexual bloggers who you might want to check out for a more personal take, but while writing this I realized that most of the sites I would recommend have stopped being updated in the last year or two. So I guess I would suggest checking out the AVENwiki's list.

While researching this, I also found out that one of the people who organize Asexual Awareness Week and I went to the same school at exactly the same time for undergrad and I never knew. So, uh. That's what I get for being totally disengaged with LGBT+ organizations while I was in college, haha.

beta search

31/10/14 05:48 pm
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Heyy, I am trying really hard to finish my Doctor Who remix fic - it's due by next Friday. Does anyone have time to take a look at it on Monday/Tuesday? Genfic, Classic and New Who, but no canon knowledge needed. Happy to trade betas etc although I'll be offline all weekend.
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Hello, author! I am so psyched for Yuletide and I'm hoping you are too, because we have matched and thus you have EXCELLENT taste.

under the cut! )
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This is a really late concert post - last Wednesday I went to see Movits! and it was AMAZING.

phone photos and babble under the cut )

So, yeah. Overall amazing, definitely recommend either band if they ever make it to your area.

woooo

21/9/14 11:42 pm
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I have officially survived my big exam. I have probably passed? I won't know for a while, but unless I massively screwed up in some way I have no idea about, a fail is kind of unlikely.

Immediately after my exam I went for drinks, went to a baseball game, went home, slept in until noon, did errands on Saturday and then got drenched on my way to a fencing thing, went home and slept again, had people over today and fed people great stirfry. So I'm feeling like a success.

Although I totally blew off any and all work this weekend. I need to get on that.

(Also I told several people I would catch up on Who this weekend and IMMEDIATELY chickened out, haha. But I watched the Ace Attorney movie instead and did a brief tumblr review.)

Fencing-wise, things are going GREAT so far, maybe mostly because my competing has been minimal and my administrative/coaching things have been high. I had a great time at the ref seminar and learned a LOT, and I think we might have a full sabre team for the college competitions? SO EXCITED. I can't believe that I haven't fenced with a full women's team since Spring 2012, I miss it so much. (Someday I will post my rant about why mixed-gender fencing is both a good thing and a terrible thing for women in fencing, but for now I will save it for the people who have the misfortune to ask me about it in real life.)

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